Missing In Action

You may have noticed a bit of an absence on my part with not explanation. I had a severe attack of colitis a week ago and spent 6 days in the hospital. This is day 11since it hit, and the first day I have felt almost like a human being. The worst part is that I missed most of the performances of my show, "Bonnie & Clyde In Winsboro." I was there for opening night October 17 and in the hospital the next day.

Yesterday, I had someone take me to the theatre to see the last performance and stay a little while at the cast party. What a terrific group of players who carried on just fine without me, although they were very happy to see me. They gave me this great shirt that they all signed, and we all cried. You can see lots more pictures of the cast at the Winnsboro Center for the Arts Facebook page.   The young people who played Bonnie and Clyde were amazing.

Cassie Rose played Bonnie and Thomas Hulme played Clyde. In the background is Ian Dierflinger as Hank the mechanic.  These young folks are all graduates, or near graduates, of my summer drama camp. They make me proud.

Since I am supposed to rest for a couple more weeks, my computer time will be relegated to working on my book, so I  may only post an occasional piece here from my friend, Slim, and take some time off.

I'll leave you with a few jokes to get your week off to a fun start.

These relationship questions were posed to children, and I love their answers.

 HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

  IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child )

A police recruit was asked during the exam, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own
mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.'

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'

The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

Before I forget, I have a review copy of an anthology that will release on November 15th. I am  pleased to have a story in this International Anthology, and I would love to send a review copy out if you are interested in reading and writing a review on the 15th.

Friday's Odds and Ends

First off a bit of a rant. Have you heard about the flap in North Carolina involving the Koch brothers? Apparently a political activist group funded by the Koch brothers is being investigated for sending mailers with incorrect information about how to register to vote to hundreds of North Carolina voters.
In a formal complaint, Casey Mann, the state Democratic Party’s executive director, accused AFP of an “attempt to utilize misleading, incorrect, and confusing voter registration mailers as a means of discouraging or intimidating voters in the 2014 general election.”

Deliberately misleading people about how to vote is a felony. 

Ahem, is it not time to get big money out of politics?

Now I want to share a great picture of two talented young actors. Thomas Hulme and Cassia Rose have the lead roles in the production of "Bonnie & Clyde in Winnsboro" that I am directing, and it has been such a joy to work with them. At first, I thought Thomas looked too nice to be a gangster, but he is making it work, and I like the contrast between the innocence of his looks and the nastiness of his actions. The same goes for Cassia. Now that we are two weeks from opening and have had lots of rehearsals, I can see where casting these two was a perfect fit. They are working well together, and I think the audiences will appreciate that same contrast that I do. It is adding so much to the characters.

Now for some fun. Here are a few more jokes that my sister shared with me recently.

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for benefits.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.  I looked in my pockets and realized I had left it at home.  I told the woman I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt."  So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver chest hair.  She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.  She said, "You should have dropped your pants.  You might have gotten disability too."

And then the fight started...
________________________________

My wife was standing naked, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible. I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

That's when the fight began . . .
________________________________

I rear-ended a car this morning . It was the start of a really bad day! The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf.

He looked up at me and said "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"

That's how the fight started

Monday Morning Musings

Good Monday morning. I hope everyone had a great weekend. Mine was busy with auditions for our fall production at the Winnsboro Center for the Arts. We are doing an original play, "Bonnie & Clyde in Winnsboro" written by a local actor, Randy Lindsey, who has given me the freedom to adapt the play and direct it. Anyone who has any connection to theatre and playwriting knows what a generous gesture that was on his part.  The story is based on historical fact. The infamous couple stopped in Winnsboro often as they made their way east from Dallas to Louisiana, and the play puts those facts into dramatic form.


WHAT I'M READING:  Prayer by Phillip Kerr. I'm not sure I would finish this one except for the fact that I am leading a discussion of the book for an online mystery book club to which I belong. The central charater, Gil Martins, is an FBI agent, but except for the fact that he drops the F-bomb quite frequently, he doesn't come across as a law enforcement professional. And even some of them don't feel the need to bomb every line of dialogue.

WHAT IS MAKING ME LAUGH: Two squirrels chasing each other up and down the big pine tree just outside my office window. In fact, it is so distracting, it's taken twice as long to write this blog post.

  
WHAT I'M DISMAYED ABOUT: That we're once again interfering in Iraq, and it looks like that interference is going to go on for a lot longer than first anticipated. No doubt we needed to give the humanitarian aid to the refugees, but that should be the extent of our involvement.

AND NOW JUST FOR FUN I thought I'd share an excerpt from my humorous memoir, A Dead Tomato Plant and a Paycheck. It's been a while since I posted an excerpt, and I forgot to get the Sunday paper with the good comic strips.

This excerpt seems appropriate since school will be starting soon in many parts of the country. Gee, I remember when school started in September. What about you?

The beginning of each new school year is always met with varying degrees of eagerness and excitement. There are some kids, like Jason in the comic strip Fox Trot, who live for each school year so they can amaze a whole new set of teachers. Others go begrudgingly because in some respects it is better to have something to do every day than be home with Mom who might find some unsavory job to do, like clean the toilets.
 
Mother’s are generally thrilled to have the kids gone most of the day, but first there is the mad rush to get them all outfitted with a few new clothes and the 10-page list of school supplies.
 

One year, a couple of days before school was going to start, I went up to our local grocery-drugs-everything-under-the-sun store to get those school supplies. When I arrived, I discovered that I wasn't the only one who'd waited until the last minute to perform this little task.
 
The aisles were crammed with shopping carts, harried mothers and a multitude of kids, which created more confusion than in the pits at the Indianapolis Speedway. The mothers wore a grim look of. determination which clearly said, "I can only suffer through this indignity because it is all for a greater good," as they jiggled crying babies, fought their way up and down the aisles, and did their best to ignore the earnest pleas of their kids.
 
"Oh, Mommy, please! Can't I have this organizer? See it has Star Wars stuff on the front and this neat thing for paper. And I won't ask you for another thing extra, I promise."
 
"I know it's not on the list, but I really need these felt-tip markers, and the big box of crayons and some of these notebooks."
 
For the first time in my life I actually had the presence of mind to think ahead and only brought one kid with me on this shopping trip, and he had masking tape over his mouth. So I was in a position to see a little humor in the human drama occurring around me. Although I did have to hurry to cosmetics if I felt a laugh coming on to avoid the risk of being attacked by a horde of irate mothers armed with wooden rulers.