Friday's Odds and Ends

Another week has whizzed by. I was busy all week preparing for the big garage sale at the Winnsboro Center For the Arts, which didn't leave much time for writing, but I did get a few thousand words done on my current work in progress. How was your week? I hope it was productive and, most of all, fun.
 

This is Sammy. He likes to take over my office chair.

 I was dismayed to read about a bridal shop in Akron Ohio that closed because of the fear of Ebola. Apparently, Amber Benson, the Dallas nurse who had Ebola, had been a customer at that store and when news of that was revealed, customer stopped going to the store. The owner, Anna Younker, was quoted as saying, "It's like our store had cooties."

How sad.

The attack on the newspaper in Paris, Charlie Hebdo, was still big news for another week, raising a continuous flurry of news reports and commentary on the Muslim religion and its penchant for violence. Too often the reporting insinuated that all Muslims are terrorists, and it is only the Islam religion that promotes violence. That is simply not true. Throughout history other religions including Christianity have been twisted to support the right to kill in the name of that religion. Just think about the Holocaust. Just think about the battles between Protestants and Catholics that went on for so many years in Ireland. The truth is that none of these religions promote violence. They all teach about love and peace and tolerance. It is people who take those religious beliefs and tenets and twist them to serve their own purposes.

Friday's Funnies starts with this from Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis. In the first panel Goat is talking on cell phone and says, "Hey dad, did you get the Ken Burns Civil War D.V.D. I sent you for your birthday?"

"Yeah what do I do with it?"

"You put it in the D.V.D. player I got you."

"Where?"

"In the little tray."

"What tray?"

"The little tray in the D.V.D. player."

"Which one is the D.V.D. player?"

"On top of the TV set."

Dad says, "Okay okay gimme a minute will ya.....? There okay I got it in and now I'm watching an explosion."

"Good. You're watching the Civil War?"

"No. No. The TV exploded."

Goat walks over to Pig and says, "Never by your parents anything invented in the last 30 years."

(I think my kids say that about me, too.)

This one is from Dustin by Steve Kelly and Jeff Parker. Dustin and his friend, Fitch, are in a convenience store. Fitch is holding a lottery ticket and says, "This is it Dustin. This is the one."

Dustin says, "Seriously Fitch? A lottery ticket?"

"Absolutely, Dude. I've got a feeling about this one."

"Fitch, why do you keep throwing away money on those things?"

"You can't win if you don't play, man."  Then Fitch scratches off the ticket, looks up and says, "Lost again. Man, I wish I had a dollar for every time that happened."
  
Today's Writing Wisdom comes from Xander Bennet from his blog post, How Not to Write a Screenplay that was first posted last spring. Xander is a a screenwriter and author and his blog is all about writing and film. In this post he has an extensive list of things not to do, and amidst the humor are some points we all could take to heart as we write, no matter what form our writing takes. Here are just a few of the things we should not do:

Agonize over your script’s title.
Start a pointless argument on Twitter.
Decide you need to do more research. Fall down a Wikipedia hole and forget what you were doing.
Change your screenwriting software.
Wait for your manager/agent/friend/reader to email you back.
Make more coffee; you need it.
Eat more snacks; you earned them.

Friday's Odds And Ends

Did you know it is National Tooth Fairy Day? Neither did I, until I saw a mention on Facebook. Then I did a search and found out that there are actually two dates for National Tooth Fairy Day, August 22 and February 28.  Why people cannot settle on one day of the year has not been explained on the Internet. I remember as a kid being so excited about the prospects of a visit from the magical fairy. We were even known to tie a string  to a tooth that might be barely hanging on and tie the other end of the string to a door knob. Slam the door and get ready for the cash. Of course, back then we were lucky to get a nickle or a dime. Times were really great when the payout jumped to a quarter.

It is also National Pecan Torte Day. At least according to some sources online. Others say it was actually yesterday. My thought is, who cares. Any day is a good day to celebrate a rich, usually multi-layered, dessert filled with whipped cream, butter cream, mousse, jam, fruits or nuts.

Courtesy of The Baking Pan on Pinterest

 I think I'd rather have a piece of that torte than a dime under my pillow. What about you?

For more little known August holidays visit Holiday Insights: August 2014.

The other day I went to see the movie, The Giver. Have you seen it? It was based on a novel by Lois Lowry and stars Brenton Thwaites, Jeff Bridges and Meryl Streep. I had not seen the young actor before, but love Bridges and Streep and had always been a fan of Lois Lowry's work. I used to read her books some years ago when I volunteered in the school library. I liked children's and YA novels, and always read the Caldecott and Newbery winners. I even got to meet Lois once when she came to visit our school.

Now just for fun:  A man hated his wife's cat so much that he decided to get rid of it by driving twenty blocks from home and dumping the cat.

But as he got back home, he saw the cat wandering up the driveway. So he drove the cat forty blocks away and dumped it.

Again when he arrived back home, there was the cat waiting for him at the front door. In desperation, he drove the cat fifty miles out into the country and dumped it in the middle of a woods.

Four hours later his wife got a phone call at home. "Darling," said her husband. "Is that cat there?"

"Yes," said the wife. "Why?"

"Just put him on the line will you? I need directions."

Aha! A man will not stop at a gas station to ask for directions, but he will ask a cat. LOL

Here's hoping everyone has a great weekend.

Friday's Odds and Ends

 One of the things I like to do for fun is work jigsaw puzzles. I just finished this one last night, after working on it off and on for a month or so. I do take time out for writing and visiting friends and playing games, so it takes me a while to finish a puzzle. All the while I was working on it, I was craving chocolate. Maybe I need to do a non-food related puzzle next.

Topping the national news this week was this little tidbit:  Speaker John Boehner and House leadership did something that's never been done in American history. They voted to sue the President.

When I read that, I couldn't believe it. Talk about an absurdity. That one tops them all. And what is even worse is that a whole lot of people think that is just okay.

Enough said about that.

Yesterday it rained off and on all day here in East Texas. During one short break, I did manage to get out and pick up branches and limbs that had fallen. I couldn't believe that I was working outside in Texas in July wearing a flannel shirt, and I wasn't even hot. We are all wondering when summer will get here.

Early in the day yesterday, the veterinarian came out to float my horse's teeth, and when I told some of my non-horsey friends, they were puzzled. One asked, "What is he going to do? Take the horse's teeth out and throw them into the pond to see if they float?"

We all had a good chuckle over that, then someone asked why the procedure is referred to as "floating" so I thought I would do a trusty little Google search. Don't you just love it? Have a question? Ask Google. Anyway, the term comes from the rasp or "float" that is used to file down sharp enamel points that form on a horse's back teeth. These points can rub on the horse's cheek when he is chewing and make it uncomfortable to eat.

There are Equine Dental Specialists in some parts of the country, but here in rural East Texas, most large-animal doctors do the dental work.

It's been a while since I've had a stray cat show up on my place. Lots of people dump cats and dogs out here. Don't you just hate that? This kitty showed up on Wednesday.

Most of the time my dog, Poppy, runs off any strays that come on her property. It is hers, by the way. So I don't often have a cat make it to the deck where I can see it. Of course if I see a cat on the deck, I have to take it in - I can't let it be coyote lunch - but I really do need to find a home for this kitty. She is sweet and friendly, but I already have four cats, who are all very unhappy that an interloper is in the sun room where they usually get to play every day.

Now to end with a joke.

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked on the door. When a woman answered, he asked her the names and ages of her children.

She said: "Let's see now, there are the twins, Billy and Bobby, they're seventeen. And the twins, Seth and Beth, they're sixteen. And the twins, Benny and Jenny, they're fifteen."

"Wait a minute!" said the census taker. "Did you get twins every time?"

"Heck no," answered the woman. "There were hundreds of times we didn't get nothin'."

Have a great weekend.

Friday's Odds and Ends

This picture has nothing to do with the blog, other than the fact that I thought you might like something pleasant to look at before my rant for the day. Black cat is Harry, other one is Lily. They were watching a bunny that was having breakfast in my yard. I'm sure they thought the bunny would make a tasty treat.

This furor over George Will's June 6 column in The Washington Post is another example of how far to the extreme we have taken this sensitivity to something someone says or writes. The column was about the federal government's efforts to curb campus sexual assault, and this is what he wrote referring to the potential response from colleges:

They are learning that when they say campus victimizations are ubiquitous (“micro-aggressions,” often not discernible to the untutored eye, are everywhere), and that when they make victimhood a coveted status that confers privileges, victims proliferate. And academia’s progressivism has rendered it intellectually defenseless now that progressivism’s achievement, the regulatory state, has decided it is academia’s turn to be broken to government’s saddle.

Many individuals, as well as the National Organization of Women (NOW), are petitiioning the Post to drop Will's column, citing the "extraordinary harm" to victims: http://mm4a.org/TGR3ga   

I'm not a fan of George Will, but not because of this. I just find his columns ponderous to read at times, more suited to an academic lecture than a column to be read by many. However, I do support his freedom to say what he thinks without having a bunch of angry people take him to task over a column. The Internet is abuzz with Tweets and messages and Facebook postings calling him names and insinuating that he thinks campus rapes don't matter.

That is not what his column was about. I'm sure he takes the incidents of campus rapes very seriously. Reading and re-reading his column to cull through the million-dollar words and phrases, my sense is that he was pointing out the problems with the Education Department's response to what has been called a rise in campus rapes. Here is another excerpt from his column:

Meanwhile, the newest campus idea for preventing victimizations — an idea certain to multiply claims of them — is “trigger warnings.” They would be placed on assigned readings or announced before lectures. Otherwise, traumas could be triggered in students whose tender sensibilities would be lacerated by unexpected encounters with racism, sexism, violence (dammit, Hamlet, put down that sword!) or any other facet of reality that might violate a student’s entitlement to serenity. This entitlement has already bred campus speech codes that punish unpopular speech. Now the codes are begetting the soft censorship of trigger warnings to swaddle students in a “safe,” “supportive,” “unthreatening” environment, intellectual comfort for the intellectually dormant. 

See what I mean about the million-dollar words? Geesh! But the point he makes is that regulating what people read or hear on campus, or in the general public, has reached a level of extremism. Concern over some potential offense has impacted us is so many negative ways. Yes, we should be thoughtful and compassionate in how we speak to and about people, but sometimes we aren't. Sometimes we just blurt things out without stopping to think. Does that make us a monster? Does that mean that if we have some celebrity status, we should lose everything and be branded for the rest of our lives? Does that mean we should ban every classic novel that has a word that might be found offensive?

Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest. Now here's your Friday jokes and then I'm out of here. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

What did one hat say to the other?

"You stay here, I'll go on ahead."

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away. 

I know, groaners more than laughers. You're welcome to try to make me laugh. Go ahead. I double-dare you.

Friday's Odds and Ends

The first bit of good news is that it has warmed up just a bit and some of the places hit the hardest with winter storms this week are getting a reprieve. It's a balmy forty degrees here, and I am so glad I did not have to haul buckets of hot water to melt ice in the horse trough this morning. 

Today I'm sharing blueberry scones with all my visitors. Grab one and enjoy.

 In last Sunday's Parade Magazine, novelist Brad Meltzer wrote an interesting article titled Do Kids Still Want to be President. He did some research and discovered that, unlike when some of us were young and aspired to grow up to be President of the United States, today's young people don't have the same aspirations. In a poll of kids between ages of 10 and 16 that was conducted by the publisher Penguin Young readers only 27% of the kids said that they would like to grow up to be president. Among the 15 to 16-year-olds there were only 13% that said they would like to be president.

Meltzer thinks that one of the problems is the fact that we are so vocal with our dissatisfaction of the president. All the young kids see is the frustration that we have with politicians and government and all the negative press about the president. So why would they want a job that is so thankless?

Another news item that caught my attention this week was a column by Steve Blow with the Dallas Morning News. He wrote a piece about the difficulty he has hearing some of the dialogue on television shows, and he actually went to get his hearing checked because he thought that was the problem. What he discovered was that his hearing is just fine.

Photo Courtesy of ActiveRain.com

 One of the reasons many people have trouble catching all the dialogue in some TV programs is that the actors mumble more in today's shows than they did in shows 20 or 30 years ago. He wrote that he caught some reruns of shows that aired in the 60s and 70s and noticed that the actors spoke clearly and distinctly. So part of the problem with hearing dialogue in current shows is the way the audio is taped with actors talking fast, actors talking over each other, and a lot of sound in the background.

In the column, Steve also pointed out that the newer flat screen HD televisions have the speakers pointing to the back. He joked that he could hear the dialogue much better if he stuck his head behind the TV, although that did create a problem with the image. With the kind of technology we have to make what we see on screen so clear and defined, it would be wonderful if television manufacturers came up with a way to make audio match the same high standards.

Now for some fun from the comic strips. This is from Dilbert:

Pointy-Haired Boss is asking Dogbert, "What's the newest management jargon I need to pretend to understand?"

Dogbert responds, "Experts say you should engage employees and follow from the front."

Pointy-Haired Boss asks, "Does that mean anything?"

Dogbert answers, "No one knows. Just to be safe you should tell people you're doing it."

Pointy-Haired Boss asks, "Should I act as if I'm passionate, or is this more of a fake caring situation?"

Dogbert says, "Beats me try combining the two."

So, Pointy-Haired Boss walks away thinking,  "Fake passion plus fake caring." He comes up to an employee who says, "My uncle died."

Pointy-Haired Boss says, "Woot!! What was his name?!"

In closing, I just want to share a bit of a new review for my mystery, Boxes For Beds. The reader really, really enjoyed the story, and I am so grateful that she took the time to write a review. Here's what she had to say:

"Boxes For Beds" pulls on two of the most powerful strings in the human catalog of fears--the fear of losing your child, and the fear of being falsely accused. The author does a masterful job of setting up the story in the early 60's in Arkansas."

Friday's Odds and Ends

I read in the paper about a new reality TV series - Best Funeral Ever. Really? Did nobody stop and think about how folks who just buried a loved one might feel about such a show? I hate to admit that the show is filmed in Dallas, and I am so glad I live 100 miles away.

The whole concept is so disgusting to me, I am not going to even provide a link for more info. Just trust me, this is for real.

To get the bad taste of that announcement out of my mouth, I thought I would share some fun that a

friend sent me in an e-mail. I found the source of the jokes, so I want to thank Alicia Moss, who first compiled these funny airline announcements and posted them on Will and Guy's Funny Clean Jokes.

1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

2. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

3. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

6 From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

7. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

8. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

9 "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

10 "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight at tendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

11. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking . I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."


Before I go, I want to share this lovely piece of music played on the most unusual instrument. The same friend who e-mailed me the jokes sent the link to the music. You've got to love a friend like that. Enjoy....

Friday's Odds and Ends

First, thank goodness that storm that could have been as devastating as Super Storm Sandy didn't pack the same punch, but in Colorado the wildfires still pose considerable threat. Isolated thunderstorms are predicted for the area today, but the storms will have lots of high, gusting winds, but little rain.

The Black Forest fire, which is the worst in the state's history, has killed two people and destroyed 379 homes. Currently, residents of Colorado Springs on on alert for evacuation orders, with as many as 13,000 residences in potential danger. More than 38,000 people have already evacuated the area.

My thoughts are with all of the people who are too close to this terrible fire.

As the story of Edward Snowden, the self-avowed National Security Agency leaker unfolds, it reminds me of the spy thrillers I used to read and enjoy. All the intrigue was, well, intriguing, but I prefer the fiction to real life. It is disheartening, and a bit scary, that Snowden is on the lam and we don't know what he plans to to with the top secret information he was privy to in his job with the NSA. He has already provided documents to journalists revealing the existence of secret programs to collect records of domestic telephone calls in the United States and the Internet activity of overseas residents. And if he is planning to defect to China as some news reports have said, what secrets will he turn over to the Chinese governement?

Another news story that has parallels in fiction is that of Jose Martinez, who was recently arrested for killing a man in Alabama in March. As it turns out, the 52-year-old man from California who is a U.S. citizen, has killed as many as 30 men as part of his job as an enforcer for Mexican drug cartels. Apparently he was called when someone got crossways with the cartel. During his interrogation by Alabama investigators he said,  "I'm the guy that pays you a visit if you don't pay."

I made a note of his story, and that great line, for possible use in my current work in progress, Desperate Season, the third book in the Seasons Mystery Series. This story revolves around deaths related to the drug "cheese" which is made from the black tar heroine that comes up to Texas from Mexico. I thought it would be interesting to  have a character, like Martinez, who appears to be just a regular suburban homeowner but is an enforcer. That juxtaposition of identities is always interesting and is what I like most about the television show The Americans, the FX original series that features two KGB agents posing as Americans in the suburbs of Washington D.C. The series stars Keri Russell, Matthew Rhys, and Noah Emmerich.

 Now for a bit of fun from Garfield. In the first panel, Garfield is listening to Jon who is yelling from another room. "This computer has a virus."

In the next panel, Jon says, "Now it crashed."

Garfield thinks, "Jon does not do well with technology."

Then Jon shouts, "Now it's packing to leave."

I can relate. How about you?

I almost forgot. It's Flag Day here in the U.S. today. I did get my flag out.

Friday's Odds and Ends

We are looking ahead to a busy weekend. Some of our kids are coming out to celebrate my husband's retirement from the Permanent Deaconate. He has served the church in many ways for 35 years, and is now ready to just sit in the pew like everyone else. We will also have an early Father's Day party on Sunday, so this will be a weekend for just family and friends and fun. Aren't those the best?

Most distressing to me is news that dozens of anomalies, including dented pipe, were reportedly found along 60 miles of the southern segment of the Keystone XL tar sands pipeline being constructed in Texas. TransCanada is calling these concerning problems with the pipe “small imperfections” along only nine sections.

Apparently, landowners in Texas, including those near my town of Winnsboro, have seen crews out digging up sections of the pipe that have been down for as much as six months.  A spokesman for TransCanada has said,  “The company does not have to reveal what happened, but seeing a completed pipeline having welds and dents cut out is reminiscent of other infamous low-quality pipelines built by a variety of companies that PHMSA has identified in the last few years. The odds are not favorable to avoid a leak when we are seeing problems such as these with a newly constructed pipeline, and a leak poses dangers for the people who live along this route.”
 
Did he really say what some of us have been saying all along? That the pipeline poses dangers?

We in the U.S.  are not the only ones against the pipeline. Government officials in Canada have rejected a plan to build the Northern Gateway pipeline in British Columbia which would pump tar sands through the province for export. The officials cited a lack of evidence that the company has the ability to transport the heavy crude safely, nor could the company prove that they would have a sufficient response to a spill should one occur. Those concerns are legitimate. People in Michigan are still cleaning up after a pipeline ruptured and dumped tar sands into the Kalamazoo River in July 2010.
 About the same time that I was reading the news report outlining Canada's objection to the pipeline, I came across a rather absurd comment made by Exxon CEO Tex Tillerson in response to a proposal from environmentalists to set corporate goals for cutting oil emmissions. He said, "What good is it to save the planet if humanity suffers?"

Huh?

Okay, that's enough of a rant for the day. Now about a bit of fun from the comics. This one from Luann, another of my favorite strips.  Luann's parents, Nancy and Frank are trying on their summer clothes after a winter of having them packed away. Frank says, "Look I put on my summer shirt and found a pen and a pair of sunglasses in the pocket. And in my shorts I found a quarter and a dollar bill."

To which Nancy reponds, "Lucky you. I put on my summer clothes and found five pounds."

Unfortunately I can relate to Nancy. How about you?

Life Lesson: "Failure is just life trying to move us in another direction." Oprah Winfrey speaking to Harvard University graduates.