Monday Morning Musings

Today I thought we'd just have some fun here on the blog. I did not watch the news at all over the weekend, although I did buy a newspaper on Sunday, but I only read the comics. Usually I read the editorials as well, but never got past the funny papers yesterday. Several of the strips had me nodding and chuckling, so I thought I would share them.

First we have this from Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelley:

Senator Batson D. Belfry is holding a press conference, telling Shoe and Cosmo, "I was on an important trade mission to Pango Tango in the Pacific. And of course, I needed assistance from my staff,  so naturally my executive assistant, Miss Starlight, had to accompany me. And those, um, incidences at the resort pool and Tiki bar were misreported by the press. So a clarification of the subsequent arrest by the Pango Tango police is in order."

Cosmo sighs and says, "Here he goes again burning the scandal at both ends."

Next up is this from Non Sequitur by Wiley:

A future President of the United States is sitting in an easy chair in a cave being interviewed by a reporter, and the reporter says, "Okay... so it turned out there wasn't an advanced army of alien roaches hiding inside the moon preparing to invade earth right?"

The president says, "So?
 
"So? You blew up the moon for nothing, resulting in disastrous consequences on a planetary scale."
 
The president sips a martini. "I fundamentally disagree with that."

The reporter stops writing in his notebook, "Wait... you disagree about the actual results of your actions?"

The president nods, "Facts are debatable"
 
"Blowing up the moon puts us back to living in caves and on the verge of extinction."

The president waves one hand. "Like dwelling on the past is going to change that? So let's stay focused on what we should do now."
 
"Like trying to blame all of it on the current administration for not putting the moon back together? Right?"
 
"Oh, like that's so much to ask?"

Finally one from Dustin by Steve Kelly and Jeff Parker:

Dustin's parents are at a restaurant for dinner, and the waiter steps up to the table. He says, "We have a sumptuous dessert special this evening. It's seven sheets of flourless chocolate cake with chocolate mousse, in between glazed and rich chocolate ganache dusted with cocoa powder and topped with dark chocolate shavings.

"The chef calls it 'Death by Chocolate.'"

Dustin's father says, "Actually were trying to watch our diets. Could you just bring enough to put us in critical condition?"

Did any of these make you laugh? I didn't laugh at the one from Non Sequitur. That one was too much like reality to be funny. And I do wish that waiter would come to my house and offer me that dessert.

Monday Morning Musings

I spent my weekend getting used to a new computer program, Dragonfly Naturally Speaking. I wanted the program so I could read columns written by the Winnsboro historian, Bill Jones, and get them into my computer to make a book for him. The thought of typing all those columns, or scanning them was daunting, so I though this program would be an asset.

Of course, my friends Marian Allen and Patrick O'Sheen, who write about dragons had a lot to say on Twitter as I posted updates on how my orientation with Dragonfly was going. There were many cautions about fire and such, but so far nothing has burned.

After a couple of days of practicing with the program my reactions are mixed. First of all, I really like not having to type as I have arthritis in my fingers and after a day of writing my hands really hurt. I do notice, however, that the process of getting words from my voice to words on the page is a bit slow. Perhaps that will speed up once I get more comfortable with the process. It took me a long time to get used to composing directly to the computer with a keyboard instead of writing stories with pen and paper and then typing them on the old manual typewriter that I used in the very beginning my career.

So I'm hoping that it will just take more practice for me to get used to yet another new way of getting stories written. However, there has always been something to the connection between a writer's brain and his or her hands, and that is one of the reasons this feels so weird. I don't know what to do with my hands. They want to be typing. Maybe my brain and my hands have to just get over it. (smile)

Throughout the weekend, I learned that Dragonfly Naturally Speaking can be used in a lot of different ways, basically anything you would normally use a keyboard for, such as updating Twitter, Facebook, and a blog. In fact I'm using it now, but the process is much slower than when I type.

So how did you spend your weekend? Did you try anything new different? Do you think you'd like to use a program like Dragonfly?

Now here are some things just for fun.

This one from the comic strip, Non Sequitur is not laugh-out-loud funny, but it does make one stop and think:

Two angels are standing by the gates of heaven watching people line up to get in. There are two entrances in the gate and two signs. One sign has an arrow pointing to the entrance on the left and reads, "Wrong religion entrance." That gate has nobody in line.

The other sign has an arrow pointing to the entrance on the right side and the sign reads, "Right religion entrance." There is a long line of people there.

One of the Angels says, "The funny thing is, none of them ever get the joke."

This one is from Rose is Rose:

Rose is reading a letter and says to Jimbo, "Betty moved. We'll have to send a housewarming gift."

Jimbo asks, "What kind of gift?"

"Oh, I don't know. A house plant is always a nice idea."

In the last panel, the houseplants are talking to each other. One says, "Does that mean one of us is leaving?"

Another says, "I'll go. I have seniority."

The last one says, "Hide me."

Mothers who have not always enjoyed every summer day with kids home from school can relate to this one from Baby Blues:

Early in the morning Zoe and Hammie are sitting on stools at the counter waiting for their breakfast. Zoe is wearing a bike helmet. Wanda, bleary-eyed and holding the baby, gets the cereal box and the milk and slams them down on the counter.

Zoe says, "Told you mom was in a mood today."

Hammie slides off of his stool and says, "I'm going to get my bike helmet before she brings the bowls and spoons."

 And that's why I taught my kids early on how to get their own cereal in the morning.

Friday's Odds and Ends - Funnies and Flowers

Before I get into the main part of this post, I want to ask if you have ever had trouble posting a comment here? On Wednesday, my guest, Mary Deal, could not leave a comment, and I know that was very frustrating as she wanted to thank me for hosting, as well as interact with visitors. I don't know anything about the technical side of what happens with the computer and programs and websites. I just know how to put words on a screen. Mary mentioned using an "atom" thing to try to post after she could not use the regular comment function. I don't have any kind of comment moderation set up. I've realized in visiting a lot of blogs that it isn't always easy to find where to click to leave a comment. For my blog, and several others I write for the comment link is at the end of the blog piece where there is a line:   Posted by Maryann Miller at 7:03 AM 6 comments:  Sometimes it will say "no comments" and you can be the first to leave a comment. (smile)

Let me know what your experience has been commenting here or on other blogs. 

In a recent letter to the editor in The Dallas Morning News a man suggested that the U. S. Postal service consider delivering residential mail on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays and business mail on the other days of the week. Interesting proposal. It would save money, but would that work in this era of instant everything? People today would never have survived waiting weeks and sometimes months for mail to arrive way back when it was delivered by horseback and stagecoach.

Maybe we would all be better off if we took a few deep breaths and just.... waited.

Today I thought I'd share some great descriptive lines I copied out of a book I read. I made this note so long ago that I don't even remember which book the lines came from, and like a doofus, I did not write the book title on the note. I thought of just throwing the note away, but these lines are too good not to share.

"His eyes were ice blue. Hard. So sharp, Val could feel them cut."

"His eyebrows resembled a backwoods thicket"

I'm not even sure if the descriptions were of the same character, but they sure are vivid, and such a refreshing alternative to some of the common descriptions of cold eyes and thick eyebrows. If the author reads this blog post and recognizes the lines, I'd love a reminder of what book they came from.

Something just for fun from the comic strip Non Sequitur: The scene is a cemetery called Last Words Cemetery. One headstone reads: "Hey, why spend all that money on an electrician?"

Not so funny? Okay, how about this one from Pickles. Earl and his grandson are talking a walk. Nelson asks, "Grampa, do you and Gramma ever argue?"

"Argue? No. I can't say that we do. We disagree sometimes, though, and then she explains to me why she's right and I'm wrong.

"You might say we have one of those marriages where one person is always right and the other person is me."

Some time ago I noticed these wildflowers growing in and around a large branch that fell during a storm that blew through. This was on the side of the highway leading to our county road, so I had to be careful of traffic when I went to snap the pictures. I couldn't resist, though. It was so pretty.