Friday's Odds and Ends

Is anyone else wishing the Olympic coverage was more about the athletes and less about the news crew? It seems like they sometimes blather on and on just to hear the sound of their voices. Then we have the teasers for what is coming up later in the broadcast, and those are all about the announcers getting face time on the screen. One of the teasers last night was about a documentary that will air Sunday night about the Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding scandal at the Olympics 20 years ago. 

I thought it was tabloid television at it's worst back then, and I haven't changed my mind since. Yes, it was tragic that Nancy got attacked during the games. It was horrible that Harding's ex-husband, Jeff Gillooly, and her bodyguard, Shawn Eckhardt, thought the best way to make sure Tonya won the Olympic gold was to break her main competitor's leg. But the media back then turned it into drama, not news, and in my opinion, the drama ended in 1994.

Image Courtesy of Free Figure Skating Clip Art

On a more positive note, the skating in the final event for the ladies' singles last night  was spectacular. Every skater went out on the ice with fire and passion and skated her heart out. I'm glad I was not responsible for judging because I loved all the performances, although it was clear to viewers, as well as judges, that Russia's Adelina Sotnikova deserved the gold. Her reaction when she finished her program was so emotional and so memorable, and we could see what the skate meant to her. Not just because of the possibility that she won. But she clearly rejoiced in what she had been able to do on the ice. There is a wonderful picture of her taken at the very end of her performance that you can see if you click on the link above. Since the picture is copyrighted, I can't borrow it.

To me, that is what the Olympic Games are all about. The athlete rejoicing in what she or he can do.

Now for some Friday Fun. The following one-liners were borrowed from the Clean Jokes Website.

I've just opened a new restaurant called Karma. There's no menu, we just give you what you deserve.

I had a dream I was a muffler and I woke up exhausted.

If you are running next to me on the treadmill, the answer is YES, we are racing.

The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense.

What fits your schedule better......Exercising 1 hour a day or being fat 24 hours a day?

Silence is golden, Duct tape is silver

I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding.

That's all folks. Have a great weekend. Are you going to watch the Kerrigan/Harding documentary?

Friday's Odds and Ends

Did you watch the beginning of the Olympic coverage last night on prime time? Did you find it odd that the coverage began before the opening ceremonies?

I did, so I decided to try to find out why. Sadly, it is primarily about the money. According to an article by Chris Chase in USA Today, Thursday's are the most popular night of television viewing and the networks covering the Olympics need to get the most bang for their buck. Because 12 new medal events were added to the competition schedule since 2010, scheduling is a challenge, so one more day of competition and coverage was added.

Image courtesy of College-Social.com

Traditionally the biggest draws for television audiences are the skating events and the networks did not want to compress the figure skating schedule. That would have put the women’s free skate, which takes place in two weeks on another night; not a good move for television ratings or sponsors. The women's free skate attracts thousands and thousands of fans and networks want the biggest night of skating to air on the biggest night of television.

While some consideration was given to allowing time between events for athletes to rest and for courses to be cleared for other events, the driving force behind the decision was money. As Chris Chase put it:

Scheduling and television are big reasons for the early start, but money is the thing that ties them all together. It’s the universal answer for sports queries like this. “Why did the NFL start playing games on Thursdays?” “Why do the NBA playoffs last longer than many celebrity marriages?” “Why is snowboard racing an Olympic event?” It all comes back to the green."

Sad. 

Now it's time for a joke. A lady went to a doctor’s office, and a few minutes into the examination, screeching could be heard from the exam room. Then the lady burst out of the room as if running for her life.

After much effort, a nurse finally managed to calm the woman down enough to find out what happened. The nurse then barged into the doctor's office and shouted at him, “Shame on you. Mrs. Smith is 82 years old, and you told her she’s pregnant?”

The Doctor continued writing on the chart and said, “Does she still have the hiccups?”

Image courtesy of Teluguone.com Comedy where there is another doctor joke.

 That's it for me today, folks. We are still having record cold temperatures here in Texas and it is cold in my office. My hands are freezing and it is very hard to type with gloves on. Have a great weekend. Stay warm. Stay safe. Be happy.

Who Needs the Olympics?

My guest today is humorist Slim Randles with another offering from the guys down at the Mule Barn. Enjoy...

Whenever Delbert McLain – our chamber of commerce here – gets a new idea, he generally shows up at the Mule Barn for coffee. He likes to try the ideas out on bonafide members of the world dilemma think tank before springing them on the world.

“What I’m thinking, guys, is this,” he said, “We need to bring the Olympic Games here to the valley!”

You could almost hear his balloon of happiness pop when we reminded him of a few drawbacks to his plan: it would cost millions to build all the necessary facilities, there is no place to put all the athletes, and the Olympic parade could march from one end of town to the other in 10 minutes. He sulked in his coffee and then ordered a sweet roll to take the sting out of reality.

But just about the time Herb mentioned there not being a place for all the athletes to spend the night, Bernie was walking behind us, headed back to his table. According to Bernie, he won the European war almost single-handedly, with just a little help from General Patton here and there.

“Olympic athletes?” Bernie said, looking down on us from on high, “You sure don’t want them here. Ain’t safe.”

Okay, so someone had to ask him why not.

“Aliens,” he said. “Ain’t human. This is just their way of taking over our way of life. You know, get themselves on TV and first thing you know …”

“Taking over …?”

“Sure,” Bernie said. “You see those pole vaulters? Those high jumpers? It’s from training where there isn’t as much gravity. And where would that be? Aha …you see now?

“And those little girls who go flippity flippity? You think real girls can do that? Not on your tintype, boys! Just ask Doc here. Doc, can a human being do flippities like that?”

“Well …”

“See what I mean. You don’t want to invite them to come here and flippity flippity, guys. First thing you know, our kids will be wanting to do that and they can’t, of course, and that will give them inferiority complexes and once we’re inferior …”

He looked up toward the ceiling as if he were searching for spacecraft.

There didn’t really appear to be anything to say to logic like that.
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Brought to you by the new book  Home Country at www.slimrandles.com 

It's Had to Stir Your Heart

I defy anyone to diss the opening ceremony of the Olympics last night. For all her faults, China did a magnificent job and all who were associated with the event are to be applauded. I loved the majesty, the grace, the soul-stirring music. And all the symbolism was artfully done without having to hammer a point home.

It was also a great lesson in history, and my first thought was how wonderful to have a better understand of these people who are sometimes so hard to understand when it comes to human rights issues. Then I had one of those "slap yourself in the head" moments. It's not the people. There was no guile in the faces of those dancers or drummers, or all those engaging children. It's the government.

Wouldn't it be nice if they took a hint from this great PR campaign they spent millions on?

Let The Games Begin

As a newspaper columnist for many years, I have had ample opportunities to reflect on the Olympic Games and their significance in the overall scheme of things, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what is happening regarding the Olympic Torch Relay.

The torch to me is a symbol of peace and a willingness to let go of petty differences, and not so petty differences, between nations and peoples to celebrate the achievements of great athletes from across the world. This year the symbol is tainted by protests that have gotten so violent that athletes have not been able to run, and many people have been arrested in London and Paris.

I agree that China’s record on human rights stinks, and I also agree that the International Olympic Committee could have picked a better site for the 2008 Summer Games than Beijing. What I don’t agree with is using violent protests to make a statement.

Even the Dalai Lama has asked people to stop the violent protests.

And for the sake of the games and the athletes who have been training for years for this opportunity to compete, I don’t think anyone should boycott the Summer Olympics. Politics has no place in the Olympics. It says so right in the Olympic Charter

So let’s find another way to let China know how much we deplore some of the government’s actions, especially in Tibet, and let the athletes have their day.