My Wednesday's Guest today is my friend Slim Randles. If it wasn't for him, I would probably have a lot of blank pages on Wednesdays. (smile) Thanks to Slim for being so generous with his work. He doesn't get paid for this. I don't get paid for this. We just do it because we like to share the stories and have a chuckle or two. And while Slim is making us smile here, I am over at The Blood Red Pencil having a bit of fun. Enjoy....
The car pulled up in front of the sign that said “Fly Tying Love Center.”
Marvin lifted the magnifying lenses above his head and got up from his fly-tying bench and walked to the front room. He looked out the window at the woman staring at his sign.
“Do you know her, Marge?”
“Mrs. Richardson. Ardis’s mom. She might have a first name but I don’t know what it is.”
Mrs. Richardson was admitted and smiled.
“Do love flies work for people my age?” she asked. “Because if they’re just for kids, it won’t do me any good, will it? Well, I was saying to Ardis just this morning, if you think a love fly will help me find a guy, maybe I should go over and see Marvin Pincus, that’s what I told her and she said, ‘Mother, that’s a good idea. I know Marvin and Marjorie and they’re really nice people.’ Now wasn’t that nice of her to say that? Of course it was. Well, Marvin, may I call you Marvin? Good. Well, Marvin, you see, ever since I lost Mr. Richardson … he passed about 10 years ago now. You might have known him, worked down at the water company, and he was one of their best employees, too. Well, ever since he passed, I’ve been kind of lonely, you know? Of course you do. That’s how you can help all these people with the love flies. So will you tie one for me? I was hoping you would. Where do you want me to sit?”
Marvin pointed to the green easy chair in the consulting room/fly tying parlor and excused himself for a minute to retrieve something from the laundry room. Then he came back in and sat at his vise and began tying a larger than usual fly.
“… certainly I have Ardis, but she wants to have her own life, too, you know. You know those young folks, right? So here I am, ready to find someone and get your advice on finding the right man and getting that lucky love fly. I’ve heard you have done really well with other people, and this is really exciting for me. You don’t talk much, do you? Well, that’s not necessarily bad. Mr. Richardson didn’t talk much, either. Sometimes he’d leave me little notes when he left for work, but when he was home he was awfully quiet. Talked with Ardis a lot, though. Never could figure that out. Men are strange, aren’t they?”
Marvin held his hand up for silence, then handed her what look like a large bass bug tied on a wooden clothespin.
“That looks like a wooden clothespin…”
“It is,” Marvin said, holding up his hand for silence again. “My sincere advice to you, Mrs. Richardson, is when you meet a good man, clip this fly to your ear lobe and it’ll remind you to just smile and not say anything.”
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Brought to you by Home Country (the book). Read a free sample at www.slimrandles.com
A commentary about life and writing, and the absurdities of the human condition. Updated on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with an occasional book review on Sundays.
Showing posts with label advice for the lovelorn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice for the lovelorn. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Advice for the lovelorn
Heading into the last three days of the Youth Drama Camp. It has been fun, but I am anxious to have my days back. LOL Here is an offering from my friend, Slim Randles for you to enjoy.
Things were going kinda slow down at the Fly Tying Love Center and it bothered Marvin Pincus a lot.
He found it hard to believe that, out of all the people in the valley, none of them needed love advice and the proper type of fishing fly to illustrate it. He had the sign made and put in the yard, and he’d obviously had great results with the Jones kid and good ol’ Dewey. Since Marvin’s advice to Dewey to shower before asking a girl for a date, Dewey Decker, the Fertilizer King, had had several dates with nice young women.
Now the fishing-fly earrings part of the business was going great. Women all over town were wearing dingle-dangle earrings with Marvin’s point-clipped fishing flies hanging therefrom. He learned that short ladies tended to go for the smaller dries, like Griffith’s Gnats and Royal Coachmen, and the taller ladies leaned toward salmon streamers. Some of the ladies slipped Marvin’s wife, Marjorie, a couple of bucks to help buy more feathers and hooks.
But on the love advice front, there was a dearth of heartbroken customers.
“What would you think,” Marvin said, “if I ran an ad in the Valley Weekly Miracle?”
“For what?” Marjorie said at breakfast.
“You know … love advice.”
“Well, you have the sign out front. I think everyone in the valley already knows about it.”
“But they’re not coming in.”
Marjorie smiled. “Honey, some people find it hard to talk to others about their personal problems. That’s probably it.”
Marvin got a piece of paper and began writing. Then he’d scratch it out and start again. This went on through both bacon and toast.
“How’s it coming, Honey?”
“About got it right, I think, Marge.”
“May I see it?”
He handed it to her.
The best love advice in the valley, tied up with the appropriate fishing fly. Call the Fly Tying Love Center for an appointment. Results guaranteed.
“What do you think?”
Marjorie just smiled and nodded her head. What she thought, however, was that retirement isn’t for sissies.
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Brought to you by Slim’s new book “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right.” Learn more at http://www.nmsantos.com/Slim/Slim.html
Things were going kinda slow down at the Fly Tying Love Center and it bothered Marvin Pincus a lot.
He found it hard to believe that, out of all the people in the valley, none of them needed love advice and the proper type of fishing fly to illustrate it. He had the sign made and put in the yard, and he’d obviously had great results with the Jones kid and good ol’ Dewey. Since Marvin’s advice to Dewey to shower before asking a girl for a date, Dewey Decker, the Fertilizer King, had had several dates with nice young women.
Now the fishing-fly earrings part of the business was going great. Women all over town were wearing dingle-dangle earrings with Marvin’s point-clipped fishing flies hanging therefrom. He learned that short ladies tended to go for the smaller dries, like Griffith’s Gnats and Royal Coachmen, and the taller ladies leaned toward salmon streamers. Some of the ladies slipped Marvin’s wife, Marjorie, a couple of bucks to help buy more feathers and hooks.
But on the love advice front, there was a dearth of heartbroken customers.
“What would you think,” Marvin said, “if I ran an ad in the Valley Weekly Miracle?”
“For what?” Marjorie said at breakfast.
“You know … love advice.”
“Well, you have the sign out front. I think everyone in the valley already knows about it.”
“But they’re not coming in.”
Marjorie smiled. “Honey, some people find it hard to talk to others about their personal problems. That’s probably it.”
Marvin got a piece of paper and began writing. Then he’d scratch it out and start again. This went on through both bacon and toast.
“How’s it coming, Honey?”
“About got it right, I think, Marge.”
“May I see it?”
He handed it to her.
The best love advice in the valley, tied up with the appropriate fishing fly. Call the Fly Tying Love Center for an appointment. Results guaranteed.
“What do you think?”
Marjorie just smiled and nodded her head. What she thought, however, was that retirement isn’t for sissies.
------------------
Brought to you by Slim’s new book “A Cowboy’s Guide to Growing Up Right.” Learn more at http://www.nmsantos.com/Slim/Slim.html
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