New Year's Day 2015

Wishing everyone a happy and healthy and successful New Year! Are you setting new goals? Making resolutions? I hope yours fare better than Luann's Father's.

What happens to your New Year's resolutions? Do they follow the same pattern as Luann's parents. In a strip that ran on November 16, 2014 Nancy and Frank DeGroot  are sitting on the couch eating popcorn. She's reading a book and he's reading the newspaper. And she asks, "What ever happened to your New Year's resolution to take up jogging?"

"Nothing I'm keen to start. It's just that in January and February were too cold. March was windy. April I had taxes to do, and in May we had house guests. June, July and August were way too hot. Then I got that kink in my neck and then I couldn't find my earbuds."

She says, "I see. And right now?"

"It's getting kind of dark..."

"But you're keen to start."

He grabs a handful of popcorn and turns back to the newspaper. "Think about it all the time."

If you want some inspiration for establishing new habits and sticking to them, this blog post from Dani Greer at The Blood Red Pencil might be of help. 

The Ghost of New Year's Resolutions

Here's hoping everyone had a fun New Year's Eve, and I wish you all the very best in 2014; good health, joy, and success in every endeavor. I thought I would start off  the New Year with a special Wednesday's Guest, The Ghost of New Year's Resolutions. This piece is one I wrote back when I did my humor column for a newspaper, and it is always fun to revisit it. Enjoy! 

Normally, when it came to New Year's resolutions, I tried not to demand too much of myself, preferring to do something simple like giving up escargot. But one year, in the interest of strengthening my character, I decided it was time to exercise a little self-discipline. I swear it had nothing to do with the strange dream I had the week prior.

In the dream, a cloudy apparition hovered over the foot of my bed and called my name, “Maryann MilIerrrrr."

"Wha ... Who me?"

"Yes, you,"

"Who are you? What do you want?"

''I'm the ghost of columns past."

"Right. And I'm Erma Bombeck."

"Tis not a moment for levity. You have much to account for this night."

"Like what?"

"How about your indiscriminate use of poetic license?"

"It's not indiscriminate. I work very hard at it."

"Aha! So you admit to lying in your column."

"Well… not exactly lying. I prefer to call it 'stretching the truth. '"

"And how do you think your family and friends feel about this?"

"They understand."

"Oh, yeah? What about your friend, Mary? Do you know she was kicked out of the Gingerbread Hall of Fame after you credited her with your fiasco?"

"I didn't know that was going to happen. But you must admit it was a funny story. Honesty would have been very dull.”

"So. Let me see if I've got this straight. You'd do anything for a laugh?"

"Well...almost anything."

"And you are going to persist?"

"Of course. I've got job security to think about."

"In that case consider yourself warned. You might be sorry."

With that the hazy form disappeared, leaving me with much to ponder. Perhaps it was time to ease up a bit. So, I made a solemn vow never to poke fun at my friend, Mary, again ...

Well, maybe I would start the next week. First, I wanted to tell all my readers about the strange punch she used to make.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you made resolutions? How long do you normally stick to them? Yesterday at a local pie shop, the owner told a group of customers that she cuts way back on her pies in January because so many folks go on diets. She joked about how production always picks up in February. According to stats compiled by the University of Scranton, only 8% of people keep their resolutions. Wow, I thought the number would be higher. 

No Resolutions

We were out of town for a few days bringing in the New Year with our children and grandchildren. Had a wonderful time visiting, playing cards, and eating waayyyy toooooo much.

Time to get serious again about exercising and dieting. Somehow that thought tends to hit a lot of us early in January when we think about how much we ate since Thanksgiving and consider losing the ten pounds we gained.

Too bad I can't be like my oldest granddaughter who loves to snack, yet is rail thin. No diets for her, but I will have to check out the latest tips on dieting.

I'm not going to make that a definitive write-it-down-on-paper resolution. I've learned over the years that resolutions and I do not get along well. But I know that I will be better off if I lose ten pounds and stick with an exercise program on a more regular basis than I have of late.

I'm also not going to write down my intent to this year finish the book I have been working on for a number of years. Reading some authors' blogs, I have picked up some advice on how to stay focused on a project, and I am going to put some of them to work for me.

The best tip was to make writing the book a priority in a working day, and that is a good suggestion for whatever project a person is working on. Don't check messages on the phone or e-mail. Don't give in to the impulse to take care of some other business first. Spend an hour working on the project, then start taking care of business.

Which means I've got to go. Didn't get my hour in with my book this morning.