Monday Morning Musings

At a writer's workshop a long time ago, an editor of True Confessions Magazine suggested that if we were interested in writing for them or one of the other similar publications, we should read the advice columns in the newspapers for story ideas. Writing for those magazines was a good source of income for a writer just starting out, and I considered the idea. However, I just couldn't get into the mind-set to write about some of the things people would ask about in their letters.

I thought of that recently when I was reading Dear Abbey - I still read the columns now and then because you can pick up really interesting character ideas, which is not at all the same as saying I read Playboy because of the articles. Honest.

Anyway, I always thought the letters came from real people and were about real problems, but more recently I have wondered if the letters are made up. Take for instance a recent letter from a man who said that he has a small travel trailer for weekend fishing trips and has always taken his dog along, who sleeps on the bed with him. Now his wife wants to go on a weekend outing with them and he thinks the dog should have first dibs on the bed since she was there first. When he told his wife that she would have to sleep in the back of the truck, she was upset and is now not speaking to him.

The letter-writer thought his wife was being inconsiderate and selfish.

To her credit, Abbey suggested that the man sleep in the back of the truck and let the wife and dog share the bed.

Now I ask. Could that be a true story?

On another note, today I am over at Sylvia Ramsey's blog, Thoughtful Reflections, talking about books and what I do when I am not writing. Stop by if you get a chance. I didn't make anything up in that interview.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

In a recent Dear Abby column, a woman wrote to ask what to say when a person inquires what a newly-purchased item costs. The writer explained when she talks about a new item, many people immediately ask, "How much did that cost." She, the writer, finds the question presumptuous and asked what is the best way to politely respond.

Abbey, who is not really Abbey anymore, but her daughter, Jeanne Phillips, fell short on her response to that one. She advised that it is natural for people to be curious about the price of new purchases, and the writer should stop talking about the items she is buying and the problem will be resolved.

Sorry Abby, but that is not the best advice. How about the fact that it is rude for people to ask how much things cost, or how much money one makes, or the net-worth of a stock portfolio. At least that's the way I was raised and many others like me.

(Egads, are there really may more like me? But I digress...)

The other day I was talking to my sister who is caring for our father and now handling his finances. I have no idea how much money my father has or what his monthly income is. Never did my whole life. And my sister said she would not know now, either, except she has to take care of his financial business. But she also said that if feels so awkward to be doing that, almost like an invasion of privacy.

Thinking about that, just reinforces for me the necessity of keeping some things private. So I would advise the lady who wrote to Dear Abby to keep talking about the things she has purchased when appropriate and when someone asks how much they cost, say something general to deflect it -- "More than I thought it would. " If they persist in questioning a good response is, "I'd rather not say."