This piece originally appeared in July 2008.....
I swear I've got to stop reading advice columnists and get a life. I don't agree with most of the advice anyway, so I don't know why I bother. Old habit, I guess.
A long time ago a writing instructor encouraged members of the class to read the advice columns for story ideas. That was especially significant for anyone wanting to write for the pulp women's magazines True Story and the others of that ilk. The instructor also said it would be helpful even if we weren't interested in writing for those magazines, but were writing fiction. She considered it a good way to find out more about human behavior and maybe even pick up a character or two.
I can't say that I ever found a direct benefit from reading the columns, so I'm really not sure why I continued. Except that "habit" thing. I'm bad with that. Took me four tries and a number of years to finally quit smoking.
Anyway, I was reading the paper last night and glanced at the headline for one of the new, younger, advice columnists: Tween Worried About Anger. An 11-year-old girl had written to express concern because she often got angry for no reason. She described the anger as extreme and wrote that she would go to her room to try to chill out with music. Then she would start feeling incredibly sad - also for no reason - and would end up crying. She was worried about whether what was happening to her might be an indication of a serious problem.
Red flags waving for anyone but me yet?
The columnist replied that what the girl was experiencing was normal, due to hormone changes related to puberty, pointing out that mood swings are a major part of early adolescence.
Okay, that much is true. But most of the mood swings pre-teens experience are triggered by something. Getting angry for no reason is not a normal part of this. Overreacting with anger because Mom told you to do something you didn't want to, or because you get grounded, is a normal part of the emotional turmoil of puberty.
If I had a child who was erupting in anger for no reason, I would be concerned and perhaps make an appointment with a counselor. And to the columnist's credit, she did encourage the girl to talk to her parents or another adult about the mood swings, but she didn't caution the girl that she could be experiencing something that has a more serious underlying cause.
Manic Depression anyone?
Showing posts with label advice columnists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice columnists. Show all posts
Monday, December 19, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Monday Morning Musings
At a writer's workshop a long time ago, an editor of True Confessions Magazine suggested that if we were interested in writing for them or one of the other similar publications, we should read the advice columns in the newspapers for story ideas. Writing for those magazines was a good source of income for a writer just starting out, and I considered the idea. However, I just couldn't get into the mind-set to write about some of the things people would ask about in their letters.
I thought of that recently when I was reading Dear Abbey - I still read the columns now and then because you can pick up really interesting character ideas, which is not at all the same as saying I read Playboy because of the articles. Honest.
Anyway, I always thought the letters came from real people and were about real problems, but more recently I have wondered if the letters are made up. Take for instance a recent letter from a man who said that he has a small travel trailer for weekend fishing trips and has always taken his dog along, who sleeps on the bed with him. Now his wife wants to go on a weekend outing with them and he thinks the dog should have first dibs on the bed since she was there first. When he told his wife that she would have to sleep in the back of the truck, she was upset and is now not speaking to him.
The letter-writer thought his wife was being inconsiderate and selfish.
To her credit, Abbey suggested that the man sleep in the back of the truck and let the wife and dog share the bed.
Now I ask. Could that be a true story?
On another note, today I am over at Sylvia Ramsey's blog, Thoughtful Reflections, talking about books and what I do when I am not writing. Stop by if you get a chance. I didn't make anything up in that interview.
I thought of that recently when I was reading Dear Abbey - I still read the columns now and then because you can pick up really interesting character ideas, which is not at all the same as saying I read Playboy because of the articles. Honest.
Anyway, I always thought the letters came from real people and were about real problems, but more recently I have wondered if the letters are made up. Take for instance a recent letter from a man who said that he has a small travel trailer for weekend fishing trips and has always taken his dog along, who sleeps on the bed with him. Now his wife wants to go on a weekend outing with them and he thinks the dog should have first dibs on the bed since she was there first. When he told his wife that she would have to sleep in the back of the truck, she was upset and is now not speaking to him.
The letter-writer thought his wife was being inconsiderate and selfish.
To her credit, Abbey suggested that the man sleep in the back of the truck and let the wife and dog share the bed.
Now I ask. Could that be a true story?
On another note, today I am over at Sylvia Ramsey's blog, Thoughtful Reflections, talking about books and what I do when I am not writing. Stop by if you get a chance. I didn't make anything up in that interview.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I'm Quitting Advice Columnists
I swear I've got to stop reading advice columnists and get a life. I don't agree with most of the advice anyway, so I don't know why I bother. Old habit, I guess.
A long time ago a writing instructor encouraged members of the class to read the advice columns for story ideas. That was especially significant for anyone wanting to write for the pulp women's magazines True Story and the others of that ilk. The instructor also said it would be helpful even if we weren't interested in writing for those magazines, but were writing fiction. She considered it a good way to find out more about human behavior and maybe even pick up a character or two.
I can't say that I ever found a direct benefit from reading the columns, so I'm really not sure why I continued. Except that "habit" thing. I'm bad with that. Took me four tries and a number of years to finally quit smoking.
Anyway, I was reading the paper last night and glanced at the headline for one of the new, younger, advice columnists: Tween Worried About Anger. An 11-year-old girl had written to express concern because she often got angry for no reason. She described the anger as extreme and wrote that she would go to her room to try to chill out with music. Then she would start feeling incredibly sad - also for no reason - and would end up crying. She was worried about whether what was happening to her might be an indication of a serious problem.
Red flags waving for anyone but me yet?
The columnist replied that what the girl was experiencing was normal, due to hormone changes related to puberty, pointing out that mood swings are a major part of early adolescence.
Okay, that much is true. But most of the mood swings pre-teens experience are triggered by something. Getting angry for no reason is not a normal part of this. Overreacting with anger because Mom told you to do something you didn't want to, or because you get grounded, is a normal part of the emotional turmoil of puberty.
If I had a child who was erupting in anger for no reason, I would be concerned and perhaps make an appointment with a counselor. And to the columnist's credit, she did encourage the girl to talk to her parents or another adult about the mood swings, but she didn't caution the girl that she could be experiencing something that has a more serious underlying cause.
Manic Depression anyone?
A long time ago a writing instructor encouraged members of the class to read the advice columns for story ideas. That was especially significant for anyone wanting to write for the pulp women's magazines True Story and the others of that ilk. The instructor also said it would be helpful even if we weren't interested in writing for those magazines, but were writing fiction. She considered it a good way to find out more about human behavior and maybe even pick up a character or two.
I can't say that I ever found a direct benefit from reading the columns, so I'm really not sure why I continued. Except that "habit" thing. I'm bad with that. Took me four tries and a number of years to finally quit smoking.
Anyway, I was reading the paper last night and glanced at the headline for one of the new, younger, advice columnists: Tween Worried About Anger. An 11-year-old girl had written to express concern because she often got angry for no reason. She described the anger as extreme and wrote that she would go to her room to try to chill out with music. Then she would start feeling incredibly sad - also for no reason - and would end up crying. She was worried about whether what was happening to her might be an indication of a serious problem.
Red flags waving for anyone but me yet?
The columnist replied that what the girl was experiencing was normal, due to hormone changes related to puberty, pointing out that mood swings are a major part of early adolescence.
Okay, that much is true. But most of the mood swings pre-teens experience are triggered by something. Getting angry for no reason is not a normal part of this. Overreacting with anger because Mom told you to do something you didn't want to, or because you get grounded, is a normal part of the emotional turmoil of puberty.
If I had a child who was erupting in anger for no reason, I would be concerned and perhaps make an appointment with a counselor. And to the columnist's credit, she did encourage the girl to talk to her parents or another adult about the mood swings, but she didn't caution the girl that she could be experiencing something that has a more serious underlying cause.
Manic Depression anyone?
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