Friday's Odds and Ends

As we listen to all kinds of people from politicians to celebrities ranting and raving and getting downright down and dirty in public, more and more people are calling for more civility in public discourse. Eight out of ten Americans think that the lack of civility is a serious problem. I am one of those eight.

Columnist Gregory Rodriguez wrote a recent piece about the civility challenge and quoted  Kristen Cambell of the National Council on Citizenship, who said that "Successful civic engagement is all about capturing and harnessing empathy."

In his book, The Science of Evil, Simon Baron-Cohen, a Cambridge University psychiatrist, refers to empathy as "double-mindedness." That refers to a person's ability to take into consideration the feelings of another.  Cruelty and unkindness occurs when people are "single-minded", too focused on their own feelings and thoughts to be able to connect with someone else or respond to them in a reasonable manner.

I like that idea. I plan to work harder at being double-minded.

Here's something that could brighten your day.  The Dallas zoo recently named a new baby giraffe "Jamie" in honor of  eight-and-a-half month-old James Sikes who loved giraffes. The boy died in July from a brain tumor, and he had been fascinated with giraffes from the time his parents took him to the zoo when he was two-months old. As he struggled with his illness, he liked to hear songs and stories about giraffes. After he died, a family friend heard about the contest sponsored by the Dallas Zoo to name the new baby giraffe and helped organize a campaign on a social media site to name the giraffe after James. Because the young giraffe is a girl, the family decided to use "Jamie" and that name won by a landslide.

For a writer it is always such a joy to discover a new review for one of their books, and I just found this one for One Small Victory. "Excellent! That is one small word that hardly describes a novel written with such heart.   Maryann Miller is an accomplished writer, weaving her tale of intrigue, romance and determination.  She takes her readers on a wild ride of adventure that will not be soon forgotten."
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED Reviewer:  Elaine Fuhr, Allbooks Reviews Int. www.allbooksreviewint.com

I am participating in the East Texas Book Fest in Tyler tomorrow, where I will have copies of my books available. I love to go to venues like that where I can meet people who love books as much as I do. It is always so much fun to talk to readers, as well as the other authors there. I always come back energized.

Friday's Odds and Ends

First I want to acknowledge all my new followers. Glad to have you aboard and hope you find your visits worthwhile.

A recent letter to the editor in the Dallas Morning News responded to the lack of civility in public discourse. The person wrote, "As repugnant as it can be sometimes, this country embraces freedom of speech and permits the right to hate for all."

True, but that doesn't mean that we should all go into some sewer to make a point or join a debate.

We would all like to believe that bigotry is dead, yet people on Grand Isle in Louisiana got nervous when a group of minority workers showed up to keep beaches free from oil during the Gulf oil spill. According to a news story, the people were nervous because they were not used to seeing a "mass of people of color coming onto their isle."

Hmmm. What colors are their maids and gardeners?

Some company is offering bikini waxes for 8-year-old girls.

Not even worth a comment.

And finally, this word from the political arena.  The $600 million border security bill was passed in the senate recently with 98% of the chamber empty.  Senator Charles Schumer from New York and one other senator opened the session for 31 minutes and passed the bill. And Schumer actually nerve to gave a speech thanking "Everyone for their bipartisan support of the bill."

To whom was he speaking?

Any absurdities you might want to add to my list?

Ahem... Politicians, are you listening?

According to a recent national poll conducted by Allegheny College in Pennsylvania, people are tired of the way politicians conduct their political campaigns, as well as how they conduct themselves once in office. They are tired of the name-calling, personal attacks and denigrating comments.

Public discourse has reached such a shrill level it is sometimes seen as meanness, and according to the poll, that is turning voters off. If voters get sick of politics and sick of government, where does that leave us? Will they flock to the polls? Probably not.

Between 77 and 89 percent of the people who responded to the poll listed the following as unacceptable behavior:

1. Belittling or insulting someone
2. Comments about one's race or ethnicity
3. Personal attacks
4. Interrupting someone you don't agree with in a public forum
5. Manipulating the facts about an issue
6. Questioning someone's patriotism because they have a different opinion

The editorial in The Dallas Morning News that brought this to my attention quoted E.J. Dionne Jr.: "A Nation that hates politics will not long thrive as a democracy."

It went on to say that 95% of Americans believe civility in politics is important for a healthy democracy. So is it the other 5% that keep electing the same ol' same ol' to public office? Is it only the other 5 % who are swayed by the mud-slinging campaign tactics and debates that aren't really debates?

I'm throwing out a challenge to the politicians and to us, the general public. We can do better than what we have seen in recent years. No more yelling. No more personal attacks. No more "he's the enemy, she's the enemy."

Let's pull ourselves and our government together for the good of the people.

What do you think? What one thing would you like to see changed in public discourse?

Dressing Down America

I am anything but a fashion-plate. As one of my daughters will attest, I don’t keep up on the latest fashions and am very comfortable wearing the same blazers I wore in college and jeans that are so old I can’t even remember when I bought them. However, she is kind in her criticism and helps me out now and then by sending something new to perk up the dusty old closet.

That said, I am not sloppy about how I appear in public. Those long ago lessons ingrained in me by my mother to “dress decently” when going somewhere still hang around. I can hear her voice nudging me when I am tempted to run into town in the sweats and t-shirt I wear around the house.

I thought about that when I read a recent column by Froma Harrop. She bemoaned the fact that American culture today seems bent on promoting what she called “the Slob-Down of America.” She described a few of the sloppy outfits she saw on folks at Chicago’s O’Hare airport that included dirty shirts with vulgar messages, women wearing scanty tops that had cleavage threatening to overflow, tattered jeans, and stained sweat pants.

Froma wondered what George Washington would think if he lived today and saw this unholy mess. He promoted a text that was called “Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation.” One of the edicts in the text had to do with cleanliness. “Wear not your Cloths, foul… or Dusty, but see they be Brush’d once every day.”

We’ve fallen far short of that edict today. I don’t necessarily hold to the old standards that had a lady never leave the house without gloves and a hat, but I do agree with old George. We should respect ourselves and others by not going along with the “anything goes” grunge look.

It used to be that a person had dress-up clothes for weddings and funerals and other special occasions. Then there was Sunday-best that made us presentable for church, if one went to church. Children had school clothes and play clothes, and never the twain should meet.

Even though dress codes have been relaxed in recent years, I still hold to some of those fashion standards – although I do like the Texas-casual style that lets folks wear blue jeans to a lot of places where they weren’t accepted in the past. But I even have a special pair of jeans for those occasions. They are my dress-up jeans. Not the ones with frayed cuffs that I wear 90 percent of my normal days.

My husband thinks all those codes are silly. He also thinks it is silly that I change into my go-to-town clothes when I leave the house. I think it is common courtesy.

What about you? Do you think we are too sloppy in America? Do you think that has contributed to the decline in civility we see all around us? That is one of the points Froma made and I could see a correlation because it is all about respect.