Friday, September 05, 2014


One year ago on this date my husband died. We had just celebrated our 48th wedding anniversary and were so hoping we would make it to 50. Since his health had been so fragile for a year or more, we both knew that was a real long-shot, but we hoped nonetheless. That's what people do, right? You don't just stop and wait for that final moment.

Now, today, I look back at that awful September day 2013, and I try to take comfort in the fact that we had two weeks of really good days from the time he came home from the hospital August 19 and the day he died. He felt better than he had in months, and that dark mood that had made him so depressed had lifted. He smiled. It was like the sun coming out from a dark cloud. You know. That dazzling brightness that almost takes your breath away.

I think that's why his sudden death that Thursday morning was such a shock. I had dared to hope that those good days would stretch into good weeks, then good months, and maybe a few more good years.

This grief stuff is hard. There's no doubt about that. You know if you have lost your partner, your soul-mate, your best friend.

So today, I am going to be gone for the day with some of my kids. Here are some of my favorite pictures of my husband. This first one is a sketch my daughter, Dany did in 2005. We were all out at the lake having some family fun.

He was a preaching man.

Oh, my God this is good cake!

At our favorite coffee shop in town Art & Espresso - 2012
R.I.P. Carl V. Miller. I miss you.


Tigermouse said...

I know it's a cliche but time really does help to heal the hurt of losing someone so dear. Your husband may be gone but you'll always have your memories. I hope you had a lovely day with your children - God bless x

Anne OConnell said...

Sending prayers and positive energy to you on this difficult day. It looks like he was a very special man. Anyone who can talk to the animals has a true heart.

Maryann Miller said...

Thanks so much for the support. I do love my cyber friends!