Here's another bit of humor from my friend, Tracy Farr..... This post orginally appeared December 2008.

 Here's another bit of humor from my friend, Tracy Farr..... This post orginally appeared December 2008. 

It's more than just a haircut

Our country is going through some dire times. Banks are collapsing, the American auto industry is hitting speed bumps, and people are just not buying executive jets like they used to. So, it is up to us -- you and me -- to get this economy going again, and that's why I did my patriotic duty this weekend and got a haircut.

 

Tim is my barber. He's been cutting my hair for almost 15 years. He knows exactly how I like it cut without me having to tell him. And if Tim's barbershop goes under, so goes the country.

It's a known fact that my money ($10 plus a dollar tip) helps to keep Tim and many others in business. When I pay Tim for my haircut, he spends it on things like rent, shaving cream and magazine subscriptions. His landlord is happy to be able to keep landlording, the shaving cream company is happy to continue delivering Tim's favorite shaving cream, and the magazines are happy because they are assured they can print next month's edition.

 

Tim takes a portion of that $10 as his salary and spends it at Wal-Mart, thus guaranteeing job security for the Associates. The Associates use their 10 percent discount to buy T-shirts and Jessica Simpson posters, thus guaranteeing that the T-shirt companies and Jessica Simpson stay in business. The T-shirt companies and Jessica Simpson are so happy to be making money that they decide to work together and make a Jessica Simpson T-shirt, which the Wal-Mart Associates buy in bulk and wear on their days off.

Since Jessica reaps the benefits of being worn all over the place, she takes her cut of the profits and produces a Christmas special, thus employing a bunch of Hollywood types who know just how to make a cheesy TV program but wouldn't be caught dead wearing a Jessica Simpson T-shirt. These Hollywood types produce "The Jessica Simpson Wish You Were Here Holiday Christmas Sing-A-Long Special" and make millions on advertising by airing it on prime time TV, thus causing simple folk like you and me to say, “How can they get away with putting this goat poop on television?” at which time we turn off the TV and get down on the floor to play games with our kids.

 

Because of my little $10 haircut, hundreds of people are employed, millions of dollars exchange hands, thousands of bottles of hand sanitizer are emptied trying to keep all those germs at bay, families all over this great nation are doing something family-ish, and I feel like I've done my part in bringing this country back from the brink of disaster.

 

So what are you waiting for? Our country needs us! Go get a haircut, and together we shall save the world!

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The Daily Spittoon -- Almost worth a shave and a haircut!

Getting paid for doing...Nothing?

There was an interesting letter to the editor in the Dallas Morning News the other day. The writer, Rob Lofland from Lindale, Texas, addressed the issue of jobs and the way business is managed today. He said, "There has been a colossal shift in the way management, especially management of large, publicly -traded companies, view their responsibilities."

He goes on to say that in the past 20 0r 30 years management has shifted the focus of that responsibility away from the product, from consumers, from workers, to "asset management and creation of wealth for stockholders and management."

Later in his letter he writes, "Much of the effort of those who run the large companies and all the effort of those on Wall Street and related business actually create nothing. They are getting paid exorbitantly to move money around."

Loftland acknowledges that there is nothing inherently wrong or evil in that, but he does wonder about the impact on jobs and consumers.

I wonder, too.

If the focus is always on the bottom line and profits to shareholders, the worker and the consumer get short-changed. And those are the people who are more important to the long-term success of a company than the shareholder. Without the worker to produce the product and the consumer to buy the product, the company would cease to exist. And that would be bad news for the shareholders.

As I mulled this all over deciding whether to blog about it, I couldn't help but see the parallel in the business side of writing. For the past 20 or 30 years the focus has shifted from the books and the writers to profits and marketing. The days when authors were appreciated and rewarded for writing a good book are gone. Now they are appreciated and rewarded for having a platform, for being a good salesperson, and for having a hot new concept.

Maybe I'm just a curmudgeon, but I liked the old days better.

Sock it To the Consumer

I heard on the news today that one of the large oil refineries is going to cut production because the cost of oil is more than the price of gasoline, so they cannot continue to produce until the price of gasoline goes back up.

Excuse me. This is the same oil refinery that six months ago had record profits. Why can't they suck this shortfall up like the rest of us do when we face hard times?

No, their response is to make sure they get more money and hold the consumer hostage.

Is anybody ever going to get the fact that we simply cannot survive if the economy continues to be driven the same way it has in recent history? We can't just be focused on our own bottom line without regard to the impact on other businesses and other people. And we can't continue to just keep throwing more money at the problem and inflating the paper economy even more.

We have to put money where it will do some good. Like into the marketplace and into individual pockets to stimulate retail sales.

Instead of corporations being bailed out or going into bankruptcy, why not ask the highest paid people to forgo their salary for a year. Certainly those who make millions every year have enough in the back to live for a year without the salary. And that money could go toward keeping the company afloat.

And instead of the government increasing the deficit to find money to help people through this crisis, why not a hold on all top-level government pay for a year? And streamline administration to save millions in man hours and redundancy.

Okay, rant over. I feel marginally better. That is until next week when the price of gas jumps for Holiday travel....