Book Review: Kind of Blue by Miles Corwin

 Thanks to Carl Brookins for sharing another review with us...


Kind of Blue
by Miles Corwin
ISBN: 978-1-60809-007-5
From Oceanview Publishing
323 pages, November, 2010

A few years ago, this author wrote a couple of serious non-fiction books about the Los Angeles Police Department.  He spent a lot of time with cops in that city and wrote books that became best-sellers, The Killing Season and And Still We Rise.

Now he’s back with a powerful persistent novel that draws from the same source material. Kind of Blue is not your ordinary police procedural. It constantly reminds readers that the cops involved are no super beings, rising above the worst humanity can offer to save their city; nor are they all thugs, wife beaters, and abusers.  They are ordinary citizens, sometimes corrupt, sometimes honorable and brilliant, often prejudiced, but too often willing to make the supreme sacrifice for the citizens they serve. And, occasionally they violate the rights of criminals.

Corwin bends a keen and discerning eye on this stew of varying humanity to fashion a fascinating novel of human relations. Asher Levine, a dedicated, mostly honest cop, is one of LA’s best homicide detectives. But as the book opens, Levine is a former cop, having abruptly resigned after he was unable to protect a vital witness from being murdered. The death of Latisha Patton, never solved, devastates the detective and causes him to question his abilities, even though it is clear that apart from his dedication, he is a brilliant detective. 

A year passes and a decorated officer has died, murdered in his home and the special homicide squad needs Levine’s help solving the case. More to the point, certain key executives in the LAPD hierarchy need the case solved or at least put to rest. Levine has had that year to discover his resignation hurts him more than it does the LAPD. With clearance from the top cops, Levine is fast tracked back to the force and handed the case.

The problem, of course, is that Levine won’t just concentrate on the current case and thus all sorts of actions that need to be buried along with the ghost of Latisha Patton. Traces of other earlier activity begin to resurface as Ash Levine winds his way through labyrinthine police and social structures of the street until he comes to the shocking final solution.

The title is apt, a riff on a 50 year old Miles Davis studio piece, the cover fits the mood and the attitude of the novel. All the elements fit nicely and it was a pleasure to read this excellent book.


Carl Brookins
www.carlbrookins.com, www.agora2.blogspot.com
Case of the Greedy Lawyer, Devils Island,
Bloody Halls, more at Kindle & Smashwords!

Friday's Odds and Ends

First I want to welcome my new followers. Thanks for connecting with me. I have enjoyed the new blogs I found via followers and love the way we are all finding each other was we crawl along the World Wide Web. Sometimes when I stop and think about the impact the Internet has had on our lives, I am simply amazed. Thank you, Al Gore... Oh, wait. It was really Tim Berners-Lee who invented the World Wide Web in 1991. Sorry Al, you lose again.

And now to our regularly scheduled program....

Howard Marlowe, president of the American League of Lobbyists recently had this to say about the moral quandary lobbyists face in accepting money to devend unsavory Middle Eastern Governments, "Thes kinds of regimes have a lot of money at their disposal, and that's a great attraction… You have to have a strong stomach."

So… Some Americans are making money off despicable mid-east leaders while other American's are dying fighting the terrorists that come out of many of those middle east countries? And just why do they need defending and to whom?

Say it isn't so.... Mark Cuban, the flamboyant owner of the Dallas Mavericks is negotiating with the actor who shall remain nameless because I do not want to add to his Google ranking for a reality TV show. Cuban owns the television station HDNet and said "We always look for interesting programming featuring interesting people doing interesting things.

Hmmm. My definition of interesting does not include someone talking about his addictions, overdoses, and the benefits of sleeping with porn stars.

And now to end on a positive note. Two women in Royse City Texas have walked around the world. Not literally, but the friends who have been walking together since 1978 on a daily basis  for exercise, recently realized they were about to closk mile 24, 901. They decided to hold a parade for their last mile and then hosted a party for friends. 

Way to go, ladies. For several years I walked with a friend several mornings a week. I think our total miles were maybe the distance between Dallas and the Mexico border. I was proud of that accomplishment until I read about these two ladies.

As always, I welcome comments, even if we don't agree on a topic. Getting other points of view broadens our perspectives.

Talk About Absurd

The Supreme Court recently overturned a judgment by a district court that had been given to the Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas prohibiting them from demonstrating at the funerals of military men and women.

This group, that calls itself a church, shows up at the funerals carrying signs that read:  "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" and "God Hates America." The members have no respect for the dignity of the ceremony they are disrupting, nor the feelings of the family and friends who are mourning a loved one. Do they not even know that the proper respect for the dead calls for decorum? Many of us still stop our cars when a funeral procession passes, and I recently saw a State Trooper standing with his hat on his chest as he stopped traffic on a county road so a funeral procession could quietly roll out of a church parking lot. And further down the road when the line of cars turned into a cemetery, that same trooper stood in silent respect.

Compare that quiet, somber moment to the chaos of a demonstration with people shouting and waving placards. Imagine if you were burying your son or daughter, or wife or husband, how you would feel.

Oh, the disgrace, and yet our Supreme Court, with only one dissenter, ruled that the protesters are protected by First Amendment rights.

I'm sorry. I don't think the men who drafted the Constitution of the United States, ever envisioned a time when our moral compass would be so far off kilter that we would allow such ugly and debasing behavior and give it protection under the law.

Shame on the Supreme Court, and shame on us for supporting a society that is swirling closer and closer to the drain.

A Day of Promoting

Even though most of us writers would much rather be writing than promoting, this is still something we need to do. What good does it do to write books if nobody knows they are available, right? So today I'm wearing my PR hat.

First, I am excited to announce that  I am a guest on Chris Redding's blog with an excerpt from my new mystery, Open Season. Stop on by if you get a chance and meet Sarah, one of the detectives in the book. She's having a face-off with the internal affairs investigator and holding her own.


This evening I will be on  Passionate World Radio (PWR)  at 8:30 ET where we will be talking about One Small Victory and how the book came to be. The story was inspired by a woman who worked as a confidential informant to bring down a major drug distributor, and she is someone we all can admire. If you have the time, I would be delighted if you came by and listened. Once on the site, just click on the Listen Now button.

The host for the show, Lillian Cauldwell, is the founder and CEO of PWR, and she is also an author. She knows the difficulties of balancing the creative and marketing sides of the writing business, so the show will be informative about those issues as well.

One Small Victory was just released in paperback by BooksWeLove Publishing Partners. Even though it is selling well as an e-book via Smashwords and Kindle, I know there are still lots of people who like the paperback books, so I am happy to have this available for those readers.

More Book Deals

This special celebration for the anniversary of the first e-book has created quite an interest on the Internet with authors and publishers offering great deals on e-books.

I posted yesterday with some links to the official Read An eBook site where some authors are listed. You can also go directly to Smashwords and see which authors there are participating in the special sales. I have my suspense novel, One Small Victory, as a free download at Smashwords - a coupon is prominently displayed in the upper right corner. I also have it on my Web site for download. I've heard from readers today that the Smashwords site is sometimes overloaded, so you can do a quick free download from my Web site.

Books We Love Publishing Partners, my new publisher for Friends Forever and the paperback version of One Small Victory, is also celebrating Read an eBook Week by offering special deals. All BWLPP titles regularly priced $2.99 or higher are on sale for half price at Smashwords! Find the coupon code on each book page, and have fun shopping!

Read an E-Book Week

E-books are celebrating a 40th anniversary. Wow, I  did not know they had been in existence that long, as I first heard about them about 25 years ago. Some pioneering e-publishers predicted that e-books would have a huge surge in popularity within 5 years, but it took another 20 years for the surge to really hit. Now we are facing an exciting time for authors and publishers with the popularity of dedicated reading devices and publishing programs that get more books out for readers to enjoy.

E-books began in 1971 when Michael Hart was given $100,000.00 worth of computer time with a Xerox Sigma V mainframe computer. He decided that the greatest value created by computers would not be computing, but would be the storage, retrieval, and searching of what was stored in our libraries. The first "e-book" was born—a copy of the Declaration of Independence. Those humble beginnings would become Project Gutenberg. Today Project Gutenberg houses 20,000 free texts and over 100,000 books are available through their partners. Today over 3,000,000 books are downloaded each month. For more of the history of printing and the evolution to where we are now visit the Web site of Read an E-Book Week.

There, you will also find a list of authors, myself included, who are participating in a week-long celebration by offering deeply discounted or free books for reading on various electronic devices. To view the list of authors and their book, click on the E-Book Week Specials tab on the left sidebar.

Additionally, I am offering a free read of my suspense novel, One Small Victory, at Smashwords, one of the major venues for authors to publish their work.. The coupon code is prominently displayed near the top of the page.


Even if  you don't have a dedicated e-book reader, most e-books are formatted for Palm, iPhone, iPad, and other electronic devices, and there are Kindle apps for most of them. This is a great opportunity to stock up for some summer reading and try some new authors. I hope you will give it a try.

Friday's Odds and Ends

Before we get to the regularly scheduled program, I have a guest piece on Elizabeth Spann Craig's Mystery Writing is Murder blog. We are talking about jigsaw puzzles and writing and what they have in common. Stop on by if you have a minute.

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Add caption

Dennis Montgomery, who owns a California computer company, sold fake technology that was supposed to assist in tracking terrorists to the military. It took two years for the Air Force to cancel the contract after the fraud was brought to light. The extent of the fraud may never be known because the Justice Department believes that releasing the details would be a threat to national security. More details HERE

What is wrong with that picture? Is the bureaucracy of the military so over loaded that someone could not have pulled the plug in, say, a week and saved millions?  Do we have a right to know the details of this fraud?

Obama's 2012 budget cuts calls for reduction of the charitable donation tax deduction. Rick Dunham, CEO of a company that assists non-profits wrote and op-ed piece in which he stated, "Our charitable deduction ensures that the wealthy have an incentive to share their financial blessings with the less fortunate."

While I agree that the deduction should stay in place, the idealist in me wishes the wealthy could donate because it is a good thing to do. Why does everything have to include a personal benefit? Have we totally succumbed to the the "What's in it for me?" mentality?

The latest trend in gardening for the busy family. There are now expert gardeners, who, for a fee, will come to your home and create a garden. They bring tools, compost, mulch, hoses, seeds and starter plants and will build raised beds, then plant your garden. If you are too busy to tend to the garden, they will come out regularly to pull weeds and take care of any other gardening chores. They'll even come out and harvest. According to an article in The Dallas Morning News, this approach to gardening has become popular in Dallas, Austin, and Seattle, but I wouldn't be surprised if it is not springing up in other places.

I'll admit that I have been tempted in recent years to hire someone to dig my garden, I don't think I would go so far as to hire a company to do it all. Some of the physiological benefits of gardening are lost if you are not putting your own hands in the dirt to plant the seeds and nurturing the plants until you are ready to pick that first juicy tomato.

What about you? Would you hire folks to do a garden?

New Opportunities in Publishing

This is an exciting time for writers with all the new avenues of publication opening up with e-books and digital publishing, and I have enjoyed hearing of the success of writers like Joe Konrath, LJ Sellers, and others who have sold hundreds of books. (They also have great tips and advice on self-publishing.)

I have put some titles up on Kindle and Smashwords myself, but recently decided to go through Books We Love Publishing Partners and let them do all the formatting for the different venues. I am not technically savvy and my learning curve for all things computer is very steep. Just ask my kids who dread the e-mail from me with the subject line "Help."

There are pros and cons to going with a publisher as opposed to uploading books independently, and one of the reasons I decided to do the former is because I've had a long relationship with Books We Love. They have been in the business of connecting authors and readers for several years and that connecting is still going on with the publishing arm of the business. Sure, I will still have to do a lot of my own promoting, as most of us writers have to do now, but BWLPP is doing some, too. That is a real advantage for me, as well, because promoting is my second least favorite thing to do.

BWLPP is taking a small percentage of the book sales, and I am willing to give them that for the ease of publication, as well as the added promotion. Many other writers are doing it all themselves, and I admire them for that. But it is not for me, and I think we all need to take the path of most comfort when it comes to taking advantage of these new opportunities.

What about you? Would you go totally independent, or take advantage of a publisher?

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One Small Victory is now available in paperback. It has been on Kindle and Smashwords for almost a year and BWLPP just released the paper edition via CreateSpace on Amazon.

Friends Forever is enjoying a new life in paperback and as an e-book, also through BWLPP. It has been revised and updated since it's first brief publication years ago.

Book Review: The Cruel Ever After by Ellen Hart

Thank you, Carl, for sharing yet another book review with us.....


The Cruel Ever After
by Ellen Hart
A Minotar (St. Martin’s Press)
2010 release. Hard cover, 320 pgs.
ISBN: 9780312624768

This, Hart’s nineteenth Jane Lawless mystery, is probably the darkest and most shocking of the series. The book is full of painful, difficult relationships and actions. The extensive cast of characters, many of whom fans   have met before, are almost all revealed to have seriously dangerous dark sides. And even when those troublesome and even illegal dimensions of their characters are  confronted by others in the book, they persist in their ways, ways that sometimes tread close to the abyss.

The shocks begin very early when Lawless’s former husband, a man she hasn’t seen for twenty years, appears in Minneapolis. Not only are we more than a little surprised to discover that Jane was married many years ago, she is upset by his appearance, supposedly ‘simply for old times sake.’  It becomes quickly apparent that Chester Garrity, one of the most facile liars and con men you’ll ever meet, has a specific personal agenda. Garrity is a user of anybody and everybody within reach. That he is such, should, it seems to
this reader, to be more apparent to Jane than appears to be the case.

That Garrity is also fairly incompetent also becomes obvious. Part of the tragedy is that his incompetence brings appalling harm to the people around him. Almost immediately plans go awry and spiral out of control. Murder results. Garrity demonstrates such a high level of impotence in the face of disaster that it is hard to believe he has managed to stay alive and out of prison for this long.

At roughly the same time that Garrity begins his ill-managed plan to sell antiquities of questionable provenance, a lethal cabal of shadowy vigilantes makes its presence known by murdering a popular gallery owner.

Is there a link here?  Of course there is, but readers will require almost infinite patience to figure out the links and resolve the tangle of threads and relationships. Patience is particularly important in the first half of
the book.  After that, with the background and setup in place, the action and the pace pick up.  Logic takes firm hold and as the complications and resolutions of the many plot lines become clearer, the author’s grip on her story becomes firmer. The second half of the novel, as revelation bangs in on top of revelation and explanations explode, is all vintage Hart, an excellent writer who is almost always in full command of her work.

There were times however, when I wanted to scream at Jane Lawless, and wondered who was really managing that usually incisive and clever mind.
~~~~~~~~~~
Carl Brookins
www.carlbrookins.com, www.agora2.blogspot.com
Devils Island, Bloody Halls, Reunion, Red Sky
more at Kindle, Smashwords & OmniLit!

Friday's Odds and Ends

New iPhone app for Roman Catholics - confession via the telephone. A Vatican spokesman responds, "One cannot speak in any way of confession by iPhone."

Was that PR speak for "Are you nuts?"

Senator Harry Reid criticized House Republican's proposed spending cuts by saying, "After all, you can lose a lot of weight by cutting off your arms and legs, but no doctor would recommend it."

Good  point Senator Reid, so how about proposing that we rein in the cost of Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security by cutting the cost of administering those programs. Streamlining the paperwork alone would save millions.

In response to the growing U.S. debt to China, Michelle Bachmann, representative from MN said, "With all the money that we owe China, I think you might correctly say, 'Hu's your daddy.'"

This is sad and scary. As we make short-term fixes to our spending problems, does nobody consider the long-term effects?

Yesterday there was a Red Flag Alert in Texas. Even though we've had lots of snow in some places recently, the state is still in drought conditions and the danger of wildfires is constant. We're accustomed to a weather alert for caution about outdoor burning and the like, but the alert yesterday included a warning about possible "erratic fire behavior." 

As opposed to consistent fire behavior?

Other than one in a fireplace, I don't think there is anything consistent about a fire. I think even the reporter found that choice of words comical. There was a hint of amusement in his voice when he made the announcement.

At a recent track meet in northern Manhattan, Ida Keeling set a world record, running 60 meters in 29.86 seconds. The 95-year old woman from the Bronx has been setting track records since she took up running at age 67. Read her amazing story HERE

Hooray for Ida.


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Today, there is an interview with me on the Web site for my new publisher, Books We Love Publishing Partners. 

Tomorrow from 10 - 2,  I will be at a "Meet the Author" event in in Madisonville, Texas. This event is sponsored by the Madison County Writers Guild, and it will be held at the Kimbro Center – on the Square - in downtown Madisonville. I have never been there, but I hear the Square is a nice place to visit. I will have copies of my new book, Open Season, as well as some copies of One Small Victory in hardback. If you are in the area, stop by and meet all the authors who will be there.

Welcome Peg Herring

Thanks to Maryann for hosting today’s stop on Peg’s Blog Crawl. Yesterday’s post, “Idioms”, is at http://wwwgeraldineevanscom.blogspot.com

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Eccentric Phrases

If your toaster stopped working, you would probably go out and get a new one. When a phrase stops working, we’re stuck with it. We can’t send out a memo, “Stop using that one, folks.” So we’re left with phrases that confuse rather than explain. Sometimes there just isn’t a good replacement for an expression, and until a better one emerges, we use the old, broken one.

How many times do we actually “roll down” the window of our cars these days? It isn’t a rolling action on modern cars. Should we say, “She lowered the window”? How about “She pressed the lower button”? Neither sounds quite right, even if we admit that rolling doesn’t happen.

Do we “dial” the telephone? No, but what is a good alternative term for what we do? “Punched in the number” sounds rather violent. “Keyed in” might be a better term, but I think there will soon be something else, something more descriptive and creative.

We no longer put words and images “on tape”, either. I suppose “recorded” still works, since the dictionary says it is “to register for reading or future reference”.

Then there are phrases we use that are inconsistent with similar phrases, making ESL speakers confused. We have deer season, bear season, turkey season…and tourist season. We have wheat crackers, saltine crackers, rye crackers…and animal crackers.

Many terms just plain don’t make sense. We have Grape Nuts Cereal, which is neither grapes nor nuts. We have guinea pigs, which are neither pigs nor from Guinea. Your nose runs but your feet smell (not yours, but somebody’s). We park on the driveway and drive on the parkway. You might want to be known as a wise man but certainly not as a wise guy. You fill out a form by filling it in, your house burns us as it burns down. People recite at a play and play at a recital, and they send shipments by truck and cargo by ship.

And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same thing? Fat chance that you can explain that one!

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The Poser: Name 3 books/series where the author shares recipes with readers.

The Prizes-Weekly prizes (your choice of THE DEAD DETECTIVE AGENCY in e- or print format) drawn from the names of those who comment on the blogs as we go. Comment once/day, but the first commenter each day gets entered twice in Saturday’s drawing!

The Pitch: THE DEAD DETECTIVE AGENCY, First in The Dead Detective Mysteries, paranormal mystery. Tori Van Camp wakes in a stateroom on a cruise ship with no memory of booking a cruise, but she does have a vivid recollection of being shot in the chest. Determined to find out what happened and why, Tori enlists the help of an odd detective named Seamus. Together they embark on an investigation like nothing she’s ever experienced. Death is all around her, and unless they act quickly, two people she cares about are prime candidates for murder. Read more about this book and the author at http://pegherring.com or buy the book at http://www.ll-publications.com/deaddetectiveagency.html.

The Perpetrator: Peg Herring writes historical and contemporary mysteries. She loves everything about publishing, even editing (most days). Peg’s historical series, The Simon and Elizabeth Mysteries, debuted in 2010 to great reviews. The second in the series will be available in November from Five Star.

The Pathway: The next entry, “Being Precise” and the answers/comments to the Poser will be at http://crimespace.ning.com/profiles/blog/list?user=pegfish

Guest author tomorrow- Peg Herring

I am pleased to announce that mystery author, Peg Herring, will be my guest tomorrow. She has been doing a blog crawl for the month of February, guesting on a different blog each day with new content. Wow, what an amazing endeavor. I am hard pressed to keep up with this blog and the three others that I regularly contribute to.

Topics have varied along the crawl, but Peg seems to enjoy "playing with words." She has done some fun posts pointing out the idiosyncrasies of the English language.

Tomorrow, Peg will share Eccentric Phrases, and I hope you will come back to read her post. It is a lot of fun. Plus, Peg is giving away weekly prizes, as well as a grand prize at the end of the blog crawl.

Her schedule for the rest of this month is:

Feb. 21 Jeff Marks-And What About Contractions? http://www.thelittleblogofmurder.com 

Feb 22 Geraldine Evans-Idioms  http://geralineevanscom.blogspot.com
Feb. 23 Maryann Miller-Eccentric Phrases  http://its-not-all-gravy.blogspot.com 
Feb. 24 Peg Herring Being Precise http://crimespace.ning.com/profiles/blog/list?user=pegfish 
Feb. 25 –Peg Herring Open Topic http://criminalmindsatwork.blogspot.com/

Feb. 26 Weekend-Draw for Prizes from Week 4

Feb. 27 Weekend

Feb. 29 Stacy Juba-Why Do We Say That? Part III  http://stacyjuba.com/blog

March 1-Final Drawing for Prizes from All Entries

Introducing Backlist Books authors

Today was spent doing some much needed work around my little farm. Our oldest son came out for the weekend and whenever he is here he likes to help me. So we cleared brush and dead trees in the back pasture and burned two big piles of logs. Sure was nice to get it all cleared. 

Since I was busy with that, I did not do my usual post today of  a book review. But I thought I would just introduce you to some of my writer friends. We all belong to a group called Backlist Books and we have e-books for Kindle, Nook and other e-readers for much less than major publishers are charging for books. As the group name suggests, all the books are from our backlist, which means they were once published by a major house and we managed to get the rights back.

So here is a list of some of those authors in the group with links to their blogs.   There's a wide variety of genres, so take a look at them and see if there's anything to your taste. 


Doranna Durgin, http://doranna.net/wordplay

Marsha Canham, http://marshacanham.wordpress.com

Jacqueline Lichtenberg, http://aliendjinnromances.blogspot.com

Jeffrey A. Carver, http://starrigger.blogspot.com/

Jill Metcalf, http://jillmetcalf.wordpress.com

Terry Odell, http://terryodell.blogspot.com

Patricia Rice, http://patriciarice.blogspot.com

Pati Nagle, http://patinagle.livejournal.com/

Lorraine Bartlett or Lorna Barrett, http://www.LornaBarrett.blogspot.com

Karen Ranney, http://karenranney.wordpress.com

Friday's Odds and Ends

In an interview with Walter Scott for Parade Magazine, Jane Fonda was asked if she was surprised to fall in love again, with record producer Richard Perry. "Totally. But it doesn't start with love, right? It starts with sex and grows into love."

I guess as long as we continue to consider sex recreation, we will continue to have high rates of abortion, single mothers, and widespread STDs. Call me old-fashioned, but I think the most intimate connection we can have with another person ought to be with someone we have grown to love first.

During a recent Commissioner's Court meeting in Dallas, Commissioner John Wiley Price responded to provocative comments during the public comment portion of the meeting with an angry outburst. He said, "All of you are white. Go to hell." Price has a long history of placing the race card, so some of his responses are to be expected. But as several columnists and editorial writers for The Dallas Morning News have said, he could do so with a lot more decorum.

Seven teenagers in Pennsylvania attacked a 13-year old boy. They beat him, tossed him into a tree, and hung him from a metal fence post. The attack went on for 30 minutes in a public place, the boy crying for help the entire time. The perpetrators videotaped the whole thing and posted the video on YouTube.

Over and above the atrocity, what is really sad about this story is the fact that it has become another form of recreation. Kids fighting each other or some hapless stranger and making a slasher video of it has become an Internet rage.

Anne Rasmussen of Dallas took her first college class when she was 72, and went on to get a bachelor's and a master's degree. Now, at age 80 she is about to become the oldest person to enter SMU's law school. In an interview in The Dallas Morning News with columnist Steve Blow, she said, "I can't just sit and stare at the walls."

Kudos to Anne and all the people like her who believe in living life to the fullest and following whatever dream they have and not letting age stand in the way.

Book Review: Sitting on Cold Porcelain by Rose A. Valenta

As a great fan of humor writing, I was eager to get this book for review. It is a collection of short pieces on politics, family, general absurdities, and some social commentary thrown into the mix.

Here is what the promotional blurb has to say about this book:

In Sitting on Cold Porcelain, readers will find an amusing, perceptive, and laugh-out-loud take on the state of our country and our world, on celebrities and politicians, and all the news events that make us roll our eyes and groan.

Its satirical essays include "Giuliani's Gaffe Could Qualify for Political Darwin Award," "Rush Limbaugh: The Don Rickles of Radio," "State of The Union 2010: Bitch-Slapping Congress," "Islamic Cleric Declares Jihad on Mickey Mouse," "Little Egypt to Run Against Sarah Palin," and "Who Moved My Mascarpone?"

You will also find Rose's hysterical consultations with her friend, Mrs. Giordano, a South Philadelphia Malocchio (evil eye) doctor. Mrs. Giordano bloviates in Italian and is the Italian equivalent to the 'Numa Numa Guy' in front of the TV when she watches The O'Reilly Factor.

Some parts of the book did make me chuckle, especially the introduction which explains the title. Perhaps because I could relate? I also really enjoyed the "State of the Union 2010: Bitch-Slapping Congress." Anyone who regularly reads my blog knows I take shots at government all the time, and Rose took some good shots in that piece.

In "Modern Terrorism Techniques" Rose reports that New Zealanbd cleared a shopping mall of unruly teens by piping in music by Barry Manilow.She referred to the music as "the kryptonite of our young people." Then she went on to suggest that certain music could replace water-boarding at Guantanamo as part of President Obama's improved humane policies toward detainees.What a clever idea. I've always thought we women could solve the world's problems if given half a chance.

This is a fun book that can be read all in one sitting, or in short bursts, perhaps instead of reading the back of the cereal box at breakfast. Trust me. This is a much better read. Fans of Erma Bombeck will find some similarities in the writing, and anyone who likes satire will enjoy the book.

Rose A. Valenta is a nationally syndicated humor columnist. Her irreverent columns have been published in Senior Wire, Associated Content, Courier Post Online, NPR, Newsday, USA TODAY, the WSJ Online, and many other local news and radio websites.

She is the author of Rosie’s Renegade Humor Blog. This is the blog for people who would be knowledgeable about current events and politics if only politicians and news anchors didn’t stretch the truth. 

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FTC Disclaimer. This book was sent to me by the author, I'm sure with the hope that I might say something kind about it. But I was not paid or threatened to fulfill that hope. It was just out there waiting for my response.

Book Review: Death Pans Out by Ashna Graves

Thanks again to Carl Brookins for sharing  his book reviews.

Death Pans Out
by Ashna Graves
Hardcover, 288 pages,
from Poisoned Pen Press

Reporter Jeneva Leopold, faced with a life-altering decision, takes a leave of absence from her job to recover from surgery.  Breast cancer has claimed part of her body and she wants time to recover in relative peace.  Not just from the debilitating effects of the surgery itself,  but she wants to be in a place where she can think about her life and her existence. This is a novel about an unusual woman with an unusual plan to rehabilitate herself.

There are great stories surrounding the searches for precious metals from California, South America and the Yukon, as well as the production of gold from less well-known regions, and this one takes its cue from those stories. Fact or fiction, we are never quite sure, but here is a story which may well become a part of that so interesting body of literature.

Jeneva’s family has long owned an idle gold mine in the mountains of Southern Oregon, a harsh, vastly rural region of high deserts, mountains, isolated communities, wild animals and, legends.  One legend surrounds the
mysterious disappearance of Jeneva’s uncle, Mathew.  Mathew disappeared one night from the cabin at the mine almost twenty years before the story opens, and his mining partner has retreated into a silent years from which he may never emerge.

Jeneva takes a long leave of absence and moved to the cabin at the mine where she intends to spend several months of the summer physically and mentally recovering from her trauma.  Almost immediately, a parade of
compelling characters begins to invade her peaceful existence, from a weird self-styled “artifact hunter,” who insists that he always camps on Bureau of Forestry land and visits the area regularly, to a hearty sheriff who seems at times too good to be true, to a taciturn former model and beauty queen turned rancher, to assorted miners, a tall funeral director and other assorted characters.  They all make for some fascinating scenes and while the action is never of a high order, the rising tension and sense of danger to Jeneva and her friends, is well-handled.

I enjoyed the story, learned some things about governmental land management and local attitudes toward government, and found the ending quite a surprise.  If there are small problems with this debut novel, they stem from an experienced reporter acting entirely too trusting and naive to serve the story, and a couple of the rants are a little too long.  That said, I look forward to another adventure with Jeneva Leopold.

Carl Brookins
www.carlbrookins.com, www.agora2.blogspot.com
Case of the Greedy Lawyer, Devils Island,
Bloody Halls, more at Kindle & Smashwords!

Contest- Win books and more

Classic Romance Revival, a site dedicated to the care and feeding of romance novels and romance authors is having a special Scavenger Hunt in honor of Valentine's Day.  The contest runs today and tomorrow, and all are invited to join in the fun and win books or tote bags or more.

Here's what it's about. The following authors have graciously elected to participate in the hunt and offer prizes:

MARION WEB De SISTO
JACQUIE ROGERS
NICOLE ZOLTACK
DANIELLE THORNE
STEPHANIE BURKHART
JAMIE HILL
LINDA BANCHE
ELAINE CANTREL
MARYANN MILLER
JANE TOOMBS
LIANA LAVERENTZ


If you want to play, go to the CRR Web site and visit the BLOG  where you'll see a list of clues which will be related to the authors listed above. Using the clue, "hunt" down the answer and remember to record the URL of where you found the answer to the clue questions and what the answer is.


Details of how to submit your answer are there on the blog along with the clues and a list of prizes. Have fun and good luck.

Friday's Odds and Ends

America's schools lose up to $175 billion a year through inefficient spending. And people are just now asking for financial accountability? According to an editorial in The Dallas Morning News, the same advocacy groups that called for academic accountability in school districts are now focusing on spending.

I wonder what took them so long.

Was it too much to ask that Christina Aguilera  sing the National Anthem as written, and maybe memorize all the words before performing in front of millions of people at the Super Bowl? It is embarrassing to hear so many celebrities butcher a song that is not all that hard to sing. My suggestion to future Super Bowl planners, select a young singer from one the the host city's school choirs to do the honors.

Speaking of Super Bowls. Dallas Mayer Pro-Tem, Dwaine Caraway gave Michael Vick the key to the city during  festivities leading up to the big game. That raised this question form a Dallas Morning News editorial, "Can any criminal with no discernible connection to Dallas get a key to the city?"  Dallas Morning News columnist Jacqueline Floyd  took issue with the fact that Caraway "hailed Vick as a hero." She pointed out that there is a vast difference between "forgiveness" and "adoration."

I'm just wondering why Caraway decided to honor Vick instead of one of the players from Pittsburgh or Green Bay who had come to play the game.

The city of Plano, Texas is looking for a new city manager and have hired a search firm to handle the selection process. Apparently they have narrowed the search to five people, one of whom said he never applied. The chief executive of the search firm had this to say I response, "He knew he was an applicant. We can't just grab resumes off the Web."

Uh, excuse me. Has he not heard of Monster.com?

According to a story in the Minneapolis Star Tribune last week, a woman was arrested after trying to send a puppy through the mail in a box. Supposedly it was to be a birthday gift for a relative in another state, but as the Minneapolis police officer said, "Some gift a dead puppy would have been."

No kidding.

The Evolution of a Writer

Please help me welcome Robert Bennett to It's Not All Gravy. 

How does someone go from being a social worker to writing mystery fiction full time?  In my case it was an accident, literally.

In 1988 I was working as a social worker in a group home for mentally challenged men in the Bronx, NY. It was my first job out of grad school and I really enjoyed it.  I was making decent money.  My boss liked me and thought I was doing a good job.  My guys and I had a great relationship. Most importantly, I felt like I was making a real difference in their lives.  I was helping them learn daily living skills.  I was helping them to get an education.  For someone who’d always wanted to improve the lives of the disenfranchised masses of our society this was the perfect job.  But, in July, it all came crashing down.

Despite what you may have heard, car accidents are no fun.  In fact mine was the least fun thirty seconds I’d ever spent in my life.  Yup, that’s all it took to change my life completely…one half of a minute.

I was coming home from a girlfriend’s home in Pennsylvania, driving on a highway I’d driven on a couple of dozen times, when I heard tires screeching behind me. I remember looking in the rearview mirror and seeing a car stopped on the road to the left of me.  A few seconds later a vehicle crashed into me from behind.  My metal chariot spun around and boom, I was hit again. This second attack pushed me against the guard rail facing oncoming traffic. Fortunately the guy who hit me, not the one who caused the accident (he was long gone and probably oblivious to what he’d caused), was an off-duty EMT driver. He orchestrated everything post-accident. The hospital released me after a cursory exam, and I went home to bed.

Skip ahead a few months, during which time I’d left my job, lost my girlfriend, and had several surgeries on my spine. I had no idea what the rest of my life would be like. One night my mother brought home a notice for classes at a place called The New York Studio for Writers. I made a phone call.

Since then I’ve written magazine articles about what I call “issues of disability,” everything from sports to politics.  I write about people who challenge societal views of what we commonly, and mistakenly, call ‘disabilities’ and ‘handicaps.’  I write about technology that helps people with disabilities lead better, easier, more productive lives.  I write about social and physical barriers, and how to circumnavigate them.

One of my articles for a magazine called Virtual Reality Special Report, was about a device that combined GPS and virtual reality technologies to allow blind people to navigate through their world.  That sparked my creative interests like no other topic previously had. What, I wondered, would happen if that device malfunctioned so that the user would not “see” the world immediately around him but, instead, would throw him off by a few blocks?  What would happen if what he “saw” was a murder taking place?  How would he deal with this information?  How would the police react if he decided to inform them?  You’re blind, they’d say.  How can you see anything?  You were a few blocks away from this alleged incident, they’d continue.  How could you know anything about it?

Welcome to the travails of Douglas Abledan and his adventures in my Blind Traveler mystery series. This was the setup for my first novel, Blind Traveler Down a Dark River (pub’d 2004).  Book two, Blind Traveler’s Blues, was just accepted as an ebook to be published by Echelon Press.

And that is how a social worker can become a writer of mystery fiction.  Sometimes accidents happen for a reason!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more information about Robert and his work, visit his Web site  You can also meet him on his BLOG

Guest Blogger Tomorrow

I'm pleased to announce that author, Robert Bennett, will be my guest here tomorrow. He will share how he "accidentally" came into the writing game. Many of us have taken unusual routes to our writing careers, but his was literally an accident.

Robert  is a social worker and writer who focuses on issues of disability. His articles, which appear in both local and national publications, have spanned a wide range of topics. He has spoken to groups of physical therapy students, church members and senior citizens, and has appeared on several radio programs. In writing about the issues people with disabilities are involved with he feels he has learned a very important lesson, "It is the act of truly living and believing in yourself that is important, not the manner in which that action is undertaken." 

Blind Traveler Down a Dark River is the story of Douglas Abledan, a blind man using a GPS unit to navigate the world. One day the device malfunctions. He stumbles upon the scene of a murder about to take place. Due to the confusion caused by the failure of his technology, it isn’t until he hears a radio announcer reporting an accidental shooting that pieces start falling into place. Unable to convince authorities to look into the matter, he launches his own investigation.


You can find out more about this book and his next on Robert's website at www.enablingwords.com  And I do hope you will come back tomorrow to meet Robert.

Homeland Security - Are we Safer?

I read an interesting op/ed piece by Anne Applebaum titled Homeland Security Hasn't Made us Safer. In her article she makes the point that since Homeland Security was established following 9/11, it has operated without much fiscal scrutiny, and it continues to cost more and more each year, "presumably because Americans think they are being protected from terrorism by all that spending."

That is so typical. The American response to so many problems is to throw money at them. The more money being spent, the better the program. Right?

Not necessarily.

The Department of Homeland Security has sent millions of dollars to remote areas of the country that would probably never be on any terrorist's radar. Small towns with populations less than 3,000 have received hundreds of thousands of dollars for "emergency preparedness." Even my small town volunteer fire department has benefited, and while it is nice that they have some updated equipment, I highly doubt there will ever be a terrorist attack here.

Until I read this article I did not know that  "Every U.S. S\state, no matter how landlocked or underpopulated, receives by law, a fixed percentage of homeland security spending every year. " So I guess if it is up for grabs, we ought to grab. Right?

The article concludes with "The events of 9/11 did not prove that the United States needs to spend more on local police forces and fire brigades; they proved that Americans need to learn how to make better use of the information they have and apply it with speed and efficiency."

Applebaum urges that more money and more attention needs to be focused on identifying terrorists and sharing information on a global level. Nationally, security could focus on cities and buildings that are actually at risk.

What a novel concept.

Millions of dollars are spent annually for airport screenings, yet there is no proof that screeners have actually stopped a would-be bomber. And when airport safety procedures are tested, the screeners have missed fake bombs that the TSA has planted to test their skills.

Book Review: Summer at Willow Lake by Susan Wiggs

 For a change, I thought I would publish my own review. Not that I don't appreciate the reviews Carl Brookins shares with us, but I just finished this book and liked it well enough to tell others....

Summer at Willow Lake
Susan Wiggs
Contemporary Romance
e-Book version - 2010

This is a wonderful story with many layers and many characters, but they all intertwine with ease. The history of the Bellamy family and their ties to Camp Kioga in New York is complicated, and when Olivia Bellamy goes back to the camp one summer to prepare it for her grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary celebration, the history is revealed. Some of it is sweet and poignant, some of it difficult and threatening.

Camp Kioga was not one of Olivia's favorite places as a child. Not until she met and fell in love with Connor Davis, but how could he be interested in a chubby teenage girl who had never even been kissed. In the years that have passed since, Olivia has reinvented herself as a trim, attractive, sophisticated woman,a nd it is that woman who meets Connor again when his construction firm is hired to help with the renovations of the camp.

Summer at Willow Lake is a saga in the true sense of the word, and I enjoyed meeting all the people who connect in some way with Olivia and the camp. It is also a romance, so the typical sexual tension is there between Olivia and Connor. What elevates this book from every other romance novel is Connor. He is almost too good to be true, which is every woman's fantasy, yet he isn't a swaggering hero. He is a kind, compassionate, intuitive man with a wry sense of humor.

 ~~~~
FTC disclaimer:  I purchased this book of my own free will to read and enjoy. The author did not twist my arm or threaten me in any way to read it and give a positive report. In fact, unless she does a search for new reviews of her book, she may not even know about this one.

Friday's Odds and Ends

Recently a woman in Dallas was asked why she wanted to model for Playboy.  "Before I get married and find someone, it's something I want to get out of my system."

Sure, that's what every young woman should put on her list of things to do before marriage.


Why Hillary didn't win -- she's not a cowgirl. In her book, Big Girls Don't Cry, Rebecca Traister writes about the "rootin'-tootin' female politician" and America's fascination with them. She says it is "symptomatic of the too-narrow ways in which the United States is willing to accept women as leaders."

I remember when Ann Richards was elected governor of Texas in 1991. While she didn't have that "take me to the wilderness so I can shoot something" persona of a Sarah Palin, she was promoted as a tough Texan who could hold her own with the good ol' boys. 

So maybe Hillary should stop trying to prove how smart she is and start acting like a cowgirl.

We've seen record cold temperatures and storms across the U.S. this week, and people still think we are not experiencing climate change?

New approach to airport security - mice who can detect explosives. Israeli scientists developed a mouse trap that contains three canisters, each filled with eight specially trained mice capable of picking up faint traces of explosive residues. The scientists say that  mice are more effective bomb-sniffers than dogs because they don't require constant human interaction, and they actually have more scent receptor genes than canines. 

They don't eat as much as dogs, either, but a dog is more fun. Read more about the mice HERE

Politicians, you gotta love em

The Texas Legislature is rushing to pass a voter ID bill that would require voters to show a driver's liscense or other form of picture ID at the voting booth. No longer will a voter's registration card, which can only be acquired by showing proof of residency, be considered adequate proof that a person is eligible to vote.

Governor Rick Perry declared this as emergency legislation so the bill could be considered before the House was fully organized, and it has strong support among Republicans. Not so much with Democrats.

Supporters say the bill preserves the right to vote, which is one of our most precious rights as residents of a democracy. They claim the current system allows non-registered voters access to polls, many of them illegal immigrants. Opponents claim the bill is just a way to disengage those at the economic bottom tier in our country.

And of course, those opposed and those in favor are so busy taking pot-shots at each other, I wonder if they are taking time to really debate the pros and cons of the bill, or is this all just about promoting the party line? Which is really what I suspect  this whole issue is about --- politics. Republicans want to come across as the vanguards of our freedom, and the Democrats want to be seen as the saviors of the poor.

If only they really cared about their constituents, they would put politics aside and look at issues of graver importance --  like the state budget. Now, there's something that needs to be deemed an emergency.

This type of approach to government business in rampant, from federal to local, and it doesn't look like it is going to change. Too bad for us.

The Battle of the Common Cold

Since we are in the middle of the flu and cold season, I thought this information I read in Parade Magazine this week might be of interest.  Some of the information was definitely a big surprise to me. I've been battling a cold and sinus infection for over a week, and had been drinking lots of green tea, adding extra Vitamins to my daily regimine, and basically following all the suggestions for boosting your immune system while you are sick.

Well, according to Dr. Birgit Winther, an otolaryngologist and part of a cold-research team at the University of Virginia,  that is the wrong thing to do. She is one of the top experts on the subject of the viruses that cause colds and was quoted by the author of the Parade article, Jennifer Ackerman, who is the author of Ah-Choo!: The Uncommon Life of Your Common Cold.

“For years, scientists thought cold symptoms resulted from damage done by the cold viruses themselves,” Winther says. As it turns out, all that sneezing, coughing, and congestion is actually caused by our own bodies. In response to an intruding virus, our immune systems pump out chemicals that cause our noses to run, heads to throb, and throats to swell. “One cold differs from another because of the way the host body responds,” Winther says. That explains why you may come down with a killer cold while your spouse has barely a sniffle, even though you both have the same virus.

It also explains why some immunity-boosting products may not help. “Getting your immune cells to work better could result in a stronger inflammatory response and more exaggerated symptoms,” Winther says. A colleague of hers once took immunity-enhancing drugs to speed his recovery, and “he’d never been so sick in his life!”

Hmmm. I'm wondering if that means I should stop the green tea? Actually, I did not drink it last night. Skipped the extra zinc and vitamin C, too. It is too early to tell, but I think there is less congestion today. I'll skip it again tonight, and then try it again tomorrow and see if there is any difference. If you are interested, check back Wednesday to see the results of my experiment.

In the meantime, what about you? Do you use immunity-enhancing supplements? Have you noticed any patterns in how they work? There are so many conflicting opinions as to the benefits of extra vitamins and the other healthy eating programs that are supposed to be of benefit, it can boggle the inquisitive mind.

Book Review: The Rembrandt Affair by Daniel Silva

 Thanks to Carl Brookins for sharing another review.....


The Rembrandt Affair
By Daniel Silva
ISBN: 978-0-399-15658-8
Published by Putnam, 2010

Daniel Silva is an experienced best-selling author who deserves his place on the NY Times list.  His latest novel is a fascinating blend of lust, international espionage, art theft and sale, and murder. It is well-written, well-paced and almost insidiously compelling.

It is also long.

Silva has peopled his thriller with a remarkable cast of characters, including a towering Swiss philanthropist, a raffish cast of thieves and murderers who are on the side of the angels, a master logician who is also a stone killer, an art restorer of great skill and several others of questionable yet important morals. Over all hangs the image of one of the greatest of European artists, Dutch painter Rembrandt von Rijin.  He lived and prospered during the golden era of Dutch painting and died in 1669.  His paintings are worth millions.

When a small portrait of a young woman mysteriously appears in the art world, knowing viewers immediately recognize it as the work of the great Dutch Master.  But knowing and proving are quite different things.  In the
art world, provenance is everything.  Where has this painting been for perhaps hundreds of years?

Answering that all-important question brings together a London art dealer and master restorer and art expert, and master spy, Gabriel Allon.  That connection sets off a wild chase though high and low social levels of Britain and Europe in a taut novel fraught with unexpected turns, unusual characters and sometimes off-the-wall events.

It all adds up to a dandy novel that will satisfy the most discriminating thriller readers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carl Brookins
www.carlbrookins.com, www.agora2.blogspot.com
Case of the Greedy Lawyer, Devils Island,
Bloody Halls, more at Kindle & Smashwords!

Friday's Odds and Ends

Well, actually, just odds. These are some unusual news items I found on the Web.

A McDonald's in the United Kingdom is refusing to serve teens who are wearing sports gear after 7pm. According to the manager, the restaurant has experienced a lot of anti-social behavior from groups of youths. "It's almost gang-style fighting at the weekend.  My staff have been threatened and been told they will be stabbed when they finish work. The local police are working with us at the moment and their advice is to take a zero tolerance approach.''

A man known as 'Spider Dan’ has been convicted for climbing San Francisco’s 60-story Millennium Tower. Daniel Goodwin spent about four hours  in September  scaling the residential high-rise, aided by suction cups. He ignored authorities’ repeated commands to come down. Goodwin testified that he wanted to call attention to what he sees as a national lack of preparedness to fight skyscraper fires.

Research suggests that the terrifying visions that haunted composer Chopin and convinced him that strange creatures were crawling out of his piano were caused by epilepsy.

Sheffield University PhD students Alex Baker and Chris Rose launched a video camera into space for less than the price of a second hand car.

Juan Manuel Barrientos, a  young chef from Colombia, has created two fully edible wedding gowns and showcased them during the Colombiatex fashion show in Medellin. Wedding dresses are usually just something pretty for people to look at, so Juan Manuel Barrieto decided  to give them a whole new purpose. Instead of just eye-candy for the wedding guests, his beautiful creations are real candy for the groom to enjoy on his wedding night. The original wedding dresses are made of 2,000 sugar-glazed rose petals and champagne clothe and come with edible accessories such as bracelets, earrings, necklaces and rings made of candy, and a bouquet made of edible flowers.

Gardening is good for your soul

Here in Texas the gardening season is just beginning. It's time to plant early spring crops such as peas and spinach and carrots and onions. I'm late getting mine planted, but I have been digging a few rows a day for the past month - except when it turned bitter cold - and I will be ready to plant this weekend.

Gardening is in my blood. My paternal grandmother had a huge garden that stretched up the hill behind her house in West Virginia. When we visited in the summer, we could always find grandma halfway up the hill, weeding, picking, or cultivating. She would sqaut, sitting on her heels, and shuffle down the rows of beans, then stand and stretch at the end of each row. How she did that, I'll never know.

When I'm out working in my garden, which is only a fraction of the size of my grandmothers, I try to hunker down to do the weeding, but am only able to make it a few feet. I'm sure the difference is due to the fact that Grandma spent hours each day working the garden. It was probably a quarter of an acre, and she worked it all with a shovel, a hoe, and a trowel. She also worked it well into her late 80s, and only stopped because she fell and broke her hip.

Thinking about the garden and my grandmother reminded me of this piece I wrote some years ago. It is now part of the memoir I have been working on, A Dead Tomato Plant and  a Paycheck. Most of the memoir is focused on humor, but now and then it takes a serious turn. Enjoy.....


Pretty little flowers all in a row.

Not that year.

That year a few scraggly weeds lived in the spots usually reserved for the pansies that thrived early in the Texas growing season. Normally, when the sun burned too hot, the pansies would be replaced with petunias, then later with periwinkles. Those hardy little flowers can thumb their noses at the worst heat thrown at them.

Attending to this ritual of planting has always been an important part of my existence. Some days I’d rather be out digging in the dirt than doing almost anything else. The process feeds me deep inside in a way that defies articulation. But those who share this passion understand.

When it was time to plant the pansies that year, I was in the hospital after a complicated kidney surgery. The weeks recuperating at home ate up the rest of early spring when cool nights and mild days nurtured the ‘people’ flowers and let them smile to greet a new day.

My heart ached when I was strong enough to walk out to the front porch and sit on the swing. The empty flower beds looked so lost and forgotten, and I yearned to dig my hands into the dirt. I thought of asking my husband to plant something, just a geranium or two for a splash of color, but resisted the urge on two counts. He had enough to do with taking care of the kids, the house, and his job. Plus, it wasn’t the flowers I missed so much as the process. I could wait a few more weeks and still have plenty of growing season left. It lasts forever in Texas.

Petunia season came and went, and still the flowerbeds stood empty.

I’d had a bit of a set-back in my recovery. Some nerves had been damaged during the hours-long surgery and the pain was still incredibly severe. That forced another trip to the hospital to see if anything could be done.

By the time I got home again, we were well into periwinkle season and my flowerbeds had grown lush with weeds. My instinct was to lean forward in the swing and pluck out a clump of clover, but the look from my husband, rich with unsaid words, stilled the impulse.

I’m sure he meant well. Like so many spouses standing on the outside he felt so helpless in the face of my pain and limitations. He only wanted to protect me. But my heart yearned to be digging in the dirt. It was a deep and powerful ache that wouldn’t go away.

During my next visit to the doctor, I asked if he thought it would be okay to do a bit of gardening. “I’ll be careful,” I said. “And I just feel this great need.”

The man could have posed for a Norman Rockwell painting as he sat on his little black stool with one finger tapping his cheek. Then he spoke. “Personally, I think there’s something very healing about dirt. Although I don’t recommend eating it.”

He paused to acknowledge the smile with timing so perfect he could’ve been on the comedy circuit. “But I do recommend filling your hands with it. Smell it. Work it. Let it fall through your fingers. It won’t cure you, but it won’t hurt, either. And maybe it will make you feel better where it matters.”

Several hours later I knelt on the grass. I ignored the pain that ran down my side and into my leg and leaned close to the dirt. The trowel felt good in my hand as I loosened a small section of the flowerbed. Then I picked up clumps of earth and crumbled them, letting the rich black dirt stream through my fingers. I reveled in the cool dampness; the pungent aroma. Then I dug a hole big enough to hold a single Marigold.

“Ah,” my heart said. “Just what you needed."

Just for Fun

Since I need to be working on my book today, not blogging, I thought I would let my friend Tracy Farr entertain you.....

I went in for oil, and came out with groceries


Every story starts with one word. Sometimes it’s a big word, sometimes it’s small. But without that first word, there could never be a second, or a third, or a fourth. So, I think I shall start this story with “The,” and after that, we shall see.

The other day, very early in the morning, I headed out to the local Super-Duper Mega Mart to buy a quart of oil. I always go in the morning because I’m a morning person. I buy oil because my truck requires it. I go to the Super-Duper Mega Mart because it’s practically the only game in town.

Very rarely do I carry my cell phone with me when I shop because I hate to be interrupted in my “get in, get out quick” expeditions. But for some reason, I had my cell phone with me that day – and it was on.

“Dear, since you’re at the Super-Duper Mega Mart, could you possibly buy some milk? I’d really appreciate it.”

That was my wife. She knows my number. I answer, “Yeah, sure, milk, fine.”

That’s how we guys talk. Monosyllable. Straight to the point. Say what you mean to say, then shut up.

“Oh, and butter too, if you don’t mind. I prefer the kind in the tub, like we always get, but if they don’t have that, whatever you do, don’t buy the squeeze-it butter because that’s just plain nasty.”

Quart of oil, milk and butter. Not too hard. Maybe I should get one of those baskets.

“Oh, and leave your cell phone on just in case I think of anything else we need. Okay?”

I say, “Yeah, sure, phone on, no problem,” but what I’m thinking is, “Why did I ever agree to cell phones?”

The other reason I like shopping early in the morning is because there are less people out and about. They’re all still in bed, watching Good Morning Something or Other, drinking their first cup of coffee and...

Coffee beans. I think we’re out. Best pick up a bag or two. That way when I get home, after I change the oil in my truck, I can settle down and relax with a tall cup of freshly-brewed coffee.

I didn’t always drink coffee. In fact, I’m a new convert. I actually surprised my father and brother this past Christmas when I said if they were fixing coffee, I’d sure like a cup. You should have seen their jaws drop. Then they slapped me on the back and said, “Welcome to the club.”

But I will admit, I doctor up my coffee quite a bit. Can’t stand it black. Which reminds me, I wonder if we have any sugar left? Best call home and see.

“Yes, we have plenty of sugar, but I’ve found some other items we desperately need. Do you have something to write with?”

Holy Cow. Of course I don’t have anything to write with. I just came for a quart of oil. You don’t necessarily have to write down “one quart of oil” when that’s the only thing you’re getting.

But of course I don’t actually SAY all that. Instead, I say, “Yeah, shoot.”

“Well, it’s not much. Okay, we need some eggs, I prefer the two dozen Grade A eggs in the paper carton, not plastic, because it decomposes easier; we need some cheese, either Pepper Jack or Swiss, but we have plenty of cheddar, unless you want to buy some sharp cheddar, but I’ll leave that up to you; we need some bananas, and please make sure they’re yellow and not green like last time, and yes I know you’re color blind, but just ask someone; we could use some frozen vegetables, but just buy the store brand because the other is too expensive; and a couple of cans of tuna in water, not oil, because I’m going to try a new tuna casserole recipe tonight and...Oh, bread. We need bread. I think garlic bread will taste good with the casserole, don’t you? And could you please pick up some more coffee? Whole beans. I like grinding it up fresh. You’ve got all that?”

I say, “Yep, eggs, cheese, bananas, peas, tuna, bread, coffee. Got it,” but inside, I’m crying, because I just wanted oil. Only a quart. Just enough to get my hands dirty.

I say goodbye – then turn off the phone.

Every story starts with one word, followed by another, then another, and then another. Every shopping trip starts with one item, followed by another, then another, and then another. Once you come to terms with that, life is Peachy Keen.


--------------

Tracy Farr lives in East Texas with his wife, three children and some goats. To read more of his stories, visit his website at http://www.tracyfarr.net.