Book Review - Free the Leprechauns by Ray Hamill

Free the Leprechauns
Ray Hamill
File Size: 674 KB
Print Length: 318 pages
Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
Language: English
ASIN: B00NB2BWHE

BOOK BLURB:  "Poor God is having a tough week. The power in heaven has gone out and all the ice cream in his fridge has melted, and if that wasn’t bad enough he just found out he’s being sued by sports fans in Cleveland who are growing weary of always hearing from star athletes in other cities how he helps them win. He never helps the teams in Cleveland win.

"Then, just when he thought things couldn’t get any worse, he discovers his magic wand – the source of his power – has gone missing, and for the life of him he simply cannot remember where it might be.

"Free The Leprechauns is a delightful tale of optimistic cynicism told in a shamelessly humorous narrative. The book follows the adventures of Stuart the proud Scottish sperm, as he sets out to help God discover the whereabouts of his magic wand, along with his new friends, Harold the wise old hamster; E.T. the Extra Testicle, an alien sex addict; and Seamus the kind-hearted smidget, a pint-sized mythical Irish creature."  

You've got to admire the wit of a writer who names a lawyer Sleez E. Bastat and creates a character like Paddy Duffy who imparts such pearls of wisdom as, "If you ignore a problem long enough it might go away, and sure if it doesn't go away there's at least a chance it might not get any worse." Not to mention actually making a sperm a character.

You also can't help but like a book that pokes fun at Justin Bieber, Bono, Sarah Palin, and religious cults. At least I couldn't help but like it, even though this kind of humor isn't always my favorite. I've always been an Erma Bombeck fan, and I don't think she ever wrote about testicles or made fun of God. (smile)

Still, there were places where I laughed out loud. For instance, "The saints collectively liked God. He was a decent chap, they all agreed. Perhaps not the smartest god in the universe - he used to believe the antichrist was that crazy woman married to the uncle Christ - but for the most part he was far and hones, except maybe for the whole fire and pestilence threats."

The author's Catholic upbringing came through loud and clear, and I could relate to the jokes about school and guilt and all those wonderful ways of being Catholic. One of my favorites was the ongoing debate about whether the good sisters who taught in the school ever went to the bathroom. I remember marveling with my girlfriends that we never, never saw one of them go into the restroom.

I'm glad God has a sense of humor.

For the most part, the writing was excellent, with good comedic timing on the jokes, and all the odd characters were engaging. However, there were places where a bit of editing could have tightened some places that went on a little too long, and a more careful use of dialect would have made some of the dialogue more enjoyable.

On one level this is just a funny story with some funny characters and funny lines, but on another it is a good example of comedic satire, mocking injustice and social wrongs. While reading the book, I couldn't help but make a comparison to television programs like The Daily Show, that teach us about what is wrong in the world and makes the lesson go down easier with a chuckle. 

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Ray Hamill was born in Dublin, Ireland, but have lived among the beautiful redwoods of Northern California for the past two decades working as a journalist. His first book was "Help me, I'm Irish - a book about the non-meaning of life." Ray will be my Wednesday's Guest this week, and I do hope you will stop by and welcome him. He is sharing the joy he has for writing. Sometimes we need to hear about the joys.

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There are just two more days left to get Doubletake, my police procedural mystery free for Kindle and Kindle apps. Hop on over to Amazon and snag a copy, and maybe tell all your friends about it. So far readers are liking the story. 

Monday Morning Musings

Last week I read a column in The Dallas Morning News by Steve Chapman who raised the issue of environmental changes that have dire consequences and some people who pretend no danger exists. He cited a comment by Sarah Palin who was attending a motorcycle rally and said, "I love that smell of emissions."

She had apparently taken a deep breath just prior to the comment, as if trying to indicate there is nothing harmful in a lung full of carbon monoxide and whatever other chemicals are in emissions from engines.

And she could actually speak afterward?

It is hard for me to imagine that there are still people who think there is nothing bad going on with the air we breath, the food we eat, and the measures people will go to to get rid of bugs.

Hello? Where do you think all the bees and butterflies have gone? And what is the long-term impact of that?

Chapman's column was written as a challenge to the Republican Party to get serious about conservation and environmental protection issues as they formulate a platform for the 2012 elections, but I see it as a challenge to all politicians. We need to get serious about protecting the earth for the generations to come, and stop plundering it to meet immediate needs.

It should also be a challenge to every individual to try to do one thing a day to help reduce global warming. One of the simplest things we can do is to limit driving. Plan to run errands all on one day if possible. Car pool. And try to cut out unnecessary trips. One day without driving has a significant impact when millions of people are doing that.

Recycle and reuse items instead of buying new. We have such a disposable mentality that if something breaks we think we have to buy new instead of seeing if the item can be repaired. And when we do buy something new, it helps to find it in packaging that can be recycled.

Plant a tree. A single tree will absorb approximately one ton of carbon dioxide during its lifetime. All plantlife absorbs carbon dioxide and gives off oxygen, which is one of the reasons that rooftop gardens are becoming more and more popular. It is one way to get greenery in the midst of a cement jungle that is what most of our large cities have become.

Rooftop gardens were once thought of just being atop luxury penthouses, but they are now being put on many other buildings, as well as some homes. Here is a link to a site with more information about growing things on a roof:Rooftop Gardens

If you are interested, here are two other sites with information on how to get active in efforts to save the earth.

Stop Global Warming Organization

50 Things to do to Stop Global Warming

Proud to be an American?

For some reason the words to Lee Greenwood's song keep running through my head this morning, but not because I am so proud to be an American today.

I'm not feeling very free, as the chorus goes:

And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the men who died,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I definitely don't want to stand up next to the people who are saying all the vile and nasty things about our government and threatening our legislators.

No, I am not proud to be an American today.

When I wrote yesterday about the cost of this health care reform fiasco, I had no idea what the cost might be in terms of civility and decency.

And the fact that people like Sarah Palin are fanning the flames of discontent with such Twitters as "Lock and Load, folks," makes me want to move to some deserted island in the Pacific.

I do love this land, almost fiercely, but I am dismayed at what people have brought it to.

Who's Turn is it to Kick?

I realized today that it has been a while since I shared an excerpt from my humorous memoir, A Dead Tomato Plant and a Paycheck. The following is from a chapter on soccer, a sport that dominated our lives for many years. Enjoy....

Long before anyone heard of Soccer Moms and Sarah Palin, I was spending several days a week at soccer games or schlepping kids to practice. For a number of years our lives revolved around the soccer fields and trying to make it to two or more games on a Saturday, sometimes scheduled only fifteen minutes apart and at opposite sides of town.

Three of our kids, David, Michael, and Dany, played regularly for several years. The other two did not enjoy soccer. Anjanette stayed with swimming and diving before getting into gymnastics and dance.

Paul made a valiant effort to hold to the family tradition and tried the sport for one year before deciding he just didn’t care for it. He tried baseball after that, and didn’t care for it, either, finally realizing he wasn’t really the athletic type, which doesn’t mean he wasn’t in shape. One year he won a Physical Training trophy in JrROTC for doing the most sit-ups in a minute – over a hundred. I’m not sure who was the most surprised, Paul, me, or the buff kid he beat out.

David was the one who started the craze at our house. He took to the sport like he was a Pele clone and played for two years before Michael made his debut. David has always been a good athlete, and he really liked the competitive spirit of the game, so the only problem he encountered on the field, was trying not to trip over the sole of his shoe that we tried to hold together with Duct tape. He was also lucky enough to start off on a good team, with good coaches, and they twice vied for city champs.

So I became a Soccer Mom before it was a status symbol. I loved to watch the games, and I usually ended up hoarse from cheering and exhausted from pacing up and down the sidelines. I never thought that taking an interest in our children’s activities would be so tiring.

As soon as Michael was old enough, he wanted to play, so we signed him up. On the way to his first game, he was very excited about his new soccer shoes, his jersey, and his shorts, and I started to wonder what he thought the game was all about. He asked me if I would yell and cheer the way I do at David’s games, and I told him of course, that’s a mother’s place in the scheme of things. But I’m not sure if the following fit the definition of cheering:
“Michael, kick the ball. Don’t just stand there!”
“Michael, get up! If you’re tired, your coach can put somebody in for you.”
“Michael, you’re not out there to pick flowers, you’re out there to play soccer.”
“Yes, Michael, I saw you kick the ball. Now get back into the game.”
“Michael, if the coach says come out of the game, come out. Don’t stand there arguing with him.”

And so the season went, with the kids playing what some of us called “chicken soccer.” That’s where all the players flock together around the ball and seem to move up and down the field in that cluster. Once in a while one kid would break loose and make a run at the goal, only to stop when the goalie said, “Stop.”

Obviously, this was not a team intent on winning a championship.

Read My Lips

It's Not a Death Squad

Thousands of people are protesting the health care plan being considered in Washington for all the wrong reasons. They are zeroing in on the section on end-of-life issues and promoting the idea that the provision means the government will be telling people when to die.

Sarah Palin is one of the most out-spoken, and perhaps influential, people stirring up this frenzy. In her blog and elsewhere she uses rhetoric that doesn't enlighten. It just stirs up emotion. This is from a commentary about her blog:

Palin was quick to note that the health care plan could make decisions regarding anyone at the end of their life, which might include her baby. She believes her parents and baby will have to leave it in the hands of Obama’s “death panel” to determine whether they are worthy of receiving health care. This is certainly not something anyone would want to face or see their loved ones experience.

The truth about that provision is that the government would provide funds to educate people about the importance of making end-of-life decisions and using Advance Directives and Medical Power of Attorney documents to make their wishes known. This isn't something we are comfortable talking about, but tough questions need to be asked and answered.

If you have cancer and are 80 years old and have a heart attack, do you want full resuscitation. Do you want to be on a ventilator in ICU?

If you have been in an accident and are brain dead, do you want to be kept on machines for an indefinite period of time?

If you have a terminal illness and can no longer eat, do you want tube feedings?

I worked for eight years as hospital chaplain and dealt with many situations where these questions had to be answered during times of extreme emotional distress. Family members were looking at their loved ones and feeling a desperate need to keep them alive. Because their emotions were so raw, they couldn't see past that to the pain and misery their husband, wife, mother, father, sister or brother might have been going through.

Being in ICU on a ventilator is not a pleasant experience.

And it is an extremely expensive proposition.

In our medical ethics sessions we would often discuss the sad fact that thousands of dollars were spent daily to keep a body alive when a person should have died days or weeks earlier without the pain and desperation that is so often the case in an ICU.

Which doesn't mean that every case in ICU or Oncology is hopeless. But many an ICU nurse would share their frustration with me over the fact that they had to keep sedating some poor old lady who kept trying to pull all the tubes out and that poor old lady died a week later anyway. She just had seven days of misery. And took seven days of time and attention that needed to go to a patient who had a chance for a positive outcome.

As part of my job, I had to start talking to patients about Advance Directives. It was easier to talk to them and to families when they were not in a crisis situation. It was also easier on them to have someone trained to deal with death and dying issues and with what the documents provide. Which is the point, I think, of this provision in the health care plan.

I know. I wish I had someone to help me talk to my mother about this.

So, if you want to protest the health care plan, protest because it is going to cost too much. Or protest because it is going to be administered by the government, who are so efficient with administrative matters. But don't protest the end-of-life provision.

We all need to think about how we are going to go "into that goodnight."